A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm married and have a son, but lately I have been unhappy. My relationship happened so fast. I was having fun when i meet my husband and i never thought i would marry him. But then i got pregnant and everything changed. Lately i can't picture our future together. And he really doesn't make me feel important. His job he has to travel alot. And the last time he left i meet someone, who makes me feel wonderful. The guy i meet also in a serious relationship,he is engaged. They have a long distance relationship. And he is also friends of my best friend. Well we started hanging out like friends, but from the beginning i was physically attracted to him. We finally hook up and i thought that would be done and over because we both had our own relationships. So my husband returned from his business trip. And now we have the same social circle and that guy is always around. And when ever he gets a chance he tells me how he thinks about me. But he won't call, he only does this when i see him. And sometimes i do want to him. But as soon as i stop thinking of him he always comes around. He is one of the nicest guys. And non of our friends know. So i have no one to talk to. What should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): You are married, unhappy and you have a child. And your attraction to this other man is telling me you are a lost, young woman who needs affirmation, approval and attachment' in any way she can get it....except from her husband. You chose a man to marry when you thought you wouldn't marry him in the first place. But you went ahead
and did it...and you had a child together. Now you have met a male friend who made you feel good about yourself...so you both had a 'hook-up'. .an infidelity. Now he's telling you how he 'thinks of you' all the time. But he's not calling you. Does that behavior not tell you something? He wants more sex and that is it, otherwise he's be texting you, phoing you and doing all he could to pursue. Sweety, he's not going anywhere, dear..he's with someone else and he's where he wants to be. All he did was feel a physical attraction to you and you complied. End this and save your marriage and offer your son a chance to have 2 parents who love each other...it's time to grow up. And ask yourself, do you both want each other, knowing how each other behaves when committed to other people. I hope not.
I am seeing a young married wife and mother here, who gets the gratification of short-lived ego boost, in having someone else attracted to her. But why? Because she, herself, is unhappy. and she fails to understand the 'work and persistance' that goes into making a good marriage work. Giving me the excuses, "my husband doesn't make me feel important anymore, I can't picture our future together, my husband travels a lot'..is painting a picture of a young wife who has a immature, self-involved, skewed view of what a marriage is and she feel entitled to 'fun' at the risk of her marriage and laying waste to the emotional lives of her son and husband. Marriage is other-involved, it is damned hard work . You and your husband need some help, you need to communicate, you are losing your sense of committment to him. Work on yourself and this marriage. Do it for your child and put your own sense of gratifications and wants aside. Find your own sense of happiness from within you and appreciate what you have. If you do you won't make stupid choices and risk pain to your husband and child. Being married is sharing a life together...not just getting the goodies right now, because you want them..there are others involved here. And you poor choices could cause lifelong pain to inoocent people that didn't deserve this. Think about that. Avoid this other fellow at all costs..Good luck.
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