A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello there everyone i really like this girl at college who's on my course.we speak sometimes and a bit over facebook by commenting on each others statuses but i would like to get to know her more and i want to know how to speak to her on facebook chat without her thinking i'm a stalker or anything? and if we speak online then i'll be more comfortable speaking to her face to face then. also today i could see her looking at me a few times in the corner of my eyes and i was wondering should i look at her and smile when i know she's looking? and one last thing one of my friends talks to her and he has recently broke up with his girlfriend and sometimes i feel really jealous as i haven't been able to sleep for a few days because i have pictured them together. i want him and her to be happy but i just want to control my feelings before i do something stupidthank you for all of your comments
View related questions:
broke up, crush, facebook, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): You said, "and if we speak online then i'll be more comfortable speaking to her face to face then. "
I disagree. There is a reason you call someone "just a facebook friend." Chatting on facebook definitively will NOT prepare you for real friendships.
Texting or internet chatting tends to amplify people's worst qualities...it is so fast that most often people write/text to make sure they are keeping up with the speed of the conversation without having the time to reflect on what is being said or the easy of typing a full thought.
...and it is so easy to be misunderstood because you can't convey tone or nuance into a texted conversation.
...and even if you do manage to have a rich texting/chatting life with her, you are sending her the message that you aren't comfortable being with her in person. It's not as if she won't notice. She is probably looking at you know because she notices you don't talk to her in person.
Talk to her. If you aren't ready to talk yet, show her you like her non-verbally. Definitely smile at her if you like her and especially if she's looking at you. These physical things mean so much more than a facebook conversation.
Don't get angry at your friend who is talking to her, compete with him.
Good luck.
|
