A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i asked something here a couple of days ago and got some good advice so i thought i'd ask again, following something my collegues said to me... my fiancee left me for her boyfriend like 2 days ago now and she's basically told me to take the kids and get out of her house asap. now, talking to collegues today about it, they've told me to throw in the towel right now and to send the kids to stay with my ex's sister because i haven't got a hope of raising them on my own. i didn't have much confidence in myself to begin with and this has killed the litttle bit i did have. the reasoning they've given behind what they're saying is that 1) i have a teenage daughter and a teenage stepdaughter and that teenage girls need a woman to look after them and 2) i'm physically disabledpeople who know me telling me i won't be able to look after my own kids has just made me doubt my ability to be a good single father... what's evryone's opinion on this? can dads raise daughters or do they need their mothers? had anyone made being a single dad to girls with a totally absent mother work? or visa versa?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): thanks. i think they're going to have to stay elsewhere and not just my girls. this is where being disabled comes into it... i met with a woman today about finding housing that i can get around and there are flats and bungalows locally. both 2 bedrooms and a waiting list anyway. great if i were a single man but i'm a single man with 3 teenagers, a kid and 2 babies.
they don't really know what's going on. i don't know what's going on. nobody knows where my ex even is at the moment and i doubt she'll show up any time soon. she's good at going awol- she's possibly in her Italian villa now or with her sister in New Zealand- and leaving me to care for 6 kids and plan a halloween themed birthday party for our daughter. (she's had 12 of them- her birthday being on halloween- why does she need another?!)
it's good to have somewhere to rant though even if nobody is reading what i'm saying :)
A
female
reader, CynthiaRenae  +, writes (1 October 2007):
Just because you're disable doesn't mean anything. Teenage girls should be mature enough to realize what's going on. Talk to them about it. Would that rather stay with you? And if they do they need to realize that they need to help out. I think they can get along with out a woman figure. But when womenly things happen have your ex's sister available or whoever to come and help the girls. Being teenagers things are probably going to change physically for them so you are very capable of handling that stuff. You just have to be sensitive and supportive. It won't be easy, but what is?
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