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Should I send a facebook request to this girl?

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Question - (17 November 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok this girl sometimes catches my bus and she works at this place part time just like me, we both work sundays thats the only time were on at the same time. she works on checkout and i work on a main department so i see her when she's on a certain checkout and when she walks around even sometimes i just walk to the label machine so i can look at her when she's on the checkouts.

i think she has a boyfriend it wouldn't surprise me but im not sure i will find out at the weekend but should i add her on facebook? we haven't had a single conversation yet and i was going to send a less creepy message what should i put or should i even send a request?

View related questions: facebook, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

It's better to just say hi when you have a chance. Since you both work on sunday's, next time say hi, and be casual. Before making any assumptions, it's better to just become friendly, and see what happens from then on.

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011):

If she already has a boyfriend, there is no chance that she is nearly as interested in you as you think she is. Sometimes, given the right scenario, a facebook request is enough to start something like this. However, in your case, you will need some face-to-face time. Girls who already have relationships find it unnecessary to have other guys in their life if they are happy. By adding her on facebook before even knowing her, you will strike a "creep" thought in her mind. This will instantly shun you and forfeit any chance of future contact with her as well because of the awkwardness you would cause from this current presence. People can never tell what someone's motives are when they add someone on facebook and it CAN come off as strange, psycho rapist behavior (especially in your case).

THere is the other case...where she DOES find you attractive and she has been single for quite some time. She would be more open to the idea of meeting someone new and accepting your request. Single girls are a little bit more eager to find someone like you and facebook becomes a more open-minded outlet. But this is not your case...

I suggest you stay away from facebook. Try talking to her. Show her your not some creepy deranged killer trying to get at her. Show her you want to be a friend despite her having a boyfriend. That is the only way to become accepted by her. If she knows you are after her for courtship, she will instantly reject you because she has a boyfriend. Of course, there is an alternative where she is frustrated and unhappy with her relationship that you could be her knight in shining armor ( a rare scenario). It means the boyfriend is screwing up the relationship somehow and she IS open to the idea of meeting someone new, but is stuck in her current relationship. In that case, court the crap out of her. Ask her out and show her a good time. Maybe after you have a conversation with her, you can gauge if its a good idea to request her on facebook. Its better to underestimate rather than overestimate her interest in you though.

Nonetheless, it all starts with a single "hi" on your behalf, and not an awkward friend request...

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

person12345 agony auntMaybe you should try to strike up a conversation first so she doesn't find it a little creepy. Don't send her a facebook message, that's way creepier than just sending a request. You could go buy a candy bar or something while she's on checkout and try talking to her about some common work complaint.

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