A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,i wonder if u can help me!!i have been speeking to this Turkish man for about 1 year now, we have got really close , talked everyday spooken on phone, msn, etc!. hes a really nice man with a wonderful personality, and also he lives no where near the holiday area's so i feel hes kind of not a cheet but i dunno ahh ? haa, anyway we started get closer and closer the past couple of months and we eventully met in april 09, he was the nicest guy you could ever meet, his family paid for me to go over and everything, he traveld 12 hours just to see me for 2 weeks, i wnet back in may and he came again, soo couple of weeks ago we spooke on msn and he said he has strong feelings for me and would love to take our frendship further, he also said he loves and cares about me alot! now theres a couple of things im not sure about, i was on his webpage and he has wrote lots of stuff about me on it, but also has lots of girls on it he had one girl who kept saying she loved him etc, i asked him about it and he replyed " we are just friends dont u trust me?" and he also told me he had never had a gf before and was a virgin, and he said being with me made him happy and would like to share that special moment with me, it sounds right crazy i know and you probs all thinking hes a turk get a life lol! but theres something about this boy =), hes not one of these bartinders that go with all the girls(i hope) hes curently studying at univercity! please help me,do u think i should go ahead and see what happends with this relisonship, or forget about it? all your help would be very nicee, thanks x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): Personally, I would be listening to the warning bells going. How exactly did you meet this guy? If it was over the internet then I seriously think you should be careful. Now, I am not saying he isnt genuine, but you have met this guy for two weeks. Anyone can pretend for a short period of time.
He paid for you to go out and see him? Thats very generous for somone he has never met, and only knows via the computer. What are his motives?
Being a cynic I would worry that all he is after is a passport, or a route into Britain. I would also worry about the other girls he seems to be chatting up - how many other western girls has he got dangling on a string? In reality, you know nothing about this guy. Only what he tells you on the computer and the few short weeks you have met in person. PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
If you take the relationship further - ie become partners,have sex etc - how are you going to be together? Are you going to move over there? Doubtful. Is he going to move over here? More than likely. Where would he live? With you? Would he be able to afford his own place? Is religion important to him, and would he want you to follow any rules that he and his family abide by? Would YOU be prepared to do this?
I dont want to appear mean, but I think you need to take off the rose tinted glasses. Look at the bigger picture. How could this actually work out? Do you see yourself living with this guy? Being with this man for the next 6 months/year/2 years? How are the logistics going to work?
You are 18-21 yrs old - are you at uni or planning on going? If you are, then you are going to be exposed to more young men than you ever knew existed. What happens if you meet a lovely guy closer to home?
Because unless you like this guy enough to still be with him in a good few years time, then there really is no point in pursuing a relationship with him.
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