A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should i tell him I felt annoyed?My boyfriend of 5 mths recently invited me over to meet his children of 21 and 16. They were having a takeaway night so thought it would casual. We arranged a time and I went over. I knocked the door but got no reply. As he had always said to let myself in, after knocking twice I did. His kids were all sat in the living room with thier mates playing computer games. I said hi and asked where the dad was. I was told upstairs. I called up the stairs but got no reply. I assumed he may be in the shower. So I sat downstairs. The daughter was on her phone and the others playing games. I sat for over 35 mins waiting. Finally he appeared. He’d been upstairs watching football.I was quite annoyed that I had been nervous to meet them and he wasn’t there even though I told him what time I’d be there.He never apologised either. We continued the evening but it just felt awkward. His daughter obviously wasn’t that keen and I felt that she’d only been there bc he had asked her too. We had no conversation at all. I found it quite hard to talk to any of them as they were on their phones etc.I haven’t told my bf how I felt bc I don’t want to cause our first upset but he could of made sure He’d bedn there. Should i tell him or wait till he wants us all to meet again and then tell him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2018): I regret not saying anything to him about this. I sort of just let it go even though it had bothered me. There has been no other meet ups since this one. He had a bbq at the weekend and didn’t invite me. I wouldn’t of gone even if he had. I’ll just continue seeing him and let him see them on his own. Im guessing at some point he may question it if it bothers him and I will tell him about the first meeting. I’m just glad my kids weren’t that rude to him. Just makes me feel abit resentful towards him.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 June 2018):
 Oh and that's good advice, by the way, about future meetings on neutral ground.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (20 June 2018):
I can understand them not being thrilled to meet dad's new girlfriend, but this isn't a case of faking excitement, but of common sense and basic courtesy.
Years ago, a close friend of mine was coming over. She ended up arriving a bit earlier because without my knowing it, my daughter had answered the door, took her coat, offered her a drink, invited her to have a seat and informed her I would be right out. My daughter was FOUR years old. FOUR! I had never taught her to do that because at her age I didn't allow her to answer the door. Luckily it was an old friend who I knew was coming. Anyway...
I did the same thing with my parents' guests, as a teenager. And it's not like my daughter or I had special etiquette lessons from Buckingham Palace.
Both of his kids were old enough to be expected to do the same for you, and their father leaving you standing there while he watched football...
They may not be terrible people, but first impressions matter and they all made a poor one here. This is a glimpse of what you're getting into with this brood.
Personally, I'd take a step back and not initiate any contact, be a bit more formal when he did and consider only going OUT on dates with him. Be a bit more formal. Assuming I decided to stay with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2018): I think both wise owl.and honey pie make good points .. I would wary of having Another met with them after being left high and dry . For him it was no big deal . For them it was no big deal . Only person who was truly interested was you . Which says alot for your good character. I would think about both post and go from there . Tell him you weren't happy with how it went and reavaluate .
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2018): [EDIT]:
"I'm sorry to say, but they're all dicks!"
Do you really want to make a second-attempt of meeting those brats after they've been threatened and coached how to behave?
You'll be introduced to their fake-side! "Everybody put on their phony-faces and be nice; my girlfriend is coming!"
They are totally rude and disrespectful; and deserve no second-chance. He left you waiting and sinking in quicksand for 35 minutes!
Seriously?!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2018): I'm sorry to say, but their all dicks! You boyfriend, and his snotty brats!
He must have informed them you were coming; and they all decided it was no big deal. Nobody even tried to make you feel welcomed or at home.
I can't tell you what you should do. This is what I'd do.
I'd call him and tell him to forget about it. You just got a preview of what his kids are like; and how he will leave you drowning on the deep-end!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 June 2018):
 Don't worry, this was just the first meeting.
Next time have him ARRANGE a meetup - dinner/lunch at a restaurant instead. that way EVERYONE is on neutral ground.
And you can't really expect the "kids" to immediately take to you. Maybe he has had several GF's and they are tired of meeting new women who don't stick around.
My grandfather married twice, but after his second divorce had a SLEW of girlfriends. It was like a revolving door. I think I was MAYBE 7 when we had some dinner at his to go to and I asked my Dad what the name of his current GF was... My dad said, well, hell if I know.... And it WAS a new GF. I can remember CLEARLY 3 of these women (all amazing) and I DO feel bad for the last one he had, because NONE of us were really keen on getting to know her and engage with her. Because what was the point? She'd be replaced in a few months or years...
IF they dad has dated a few women already that didn't work out, they might just not be keen on getting to know you. So just slow down. What matters is that the TWO of you (him and you) work on building a relationship and THAT requires open communication. I think you should tell him just how awkward it felt for you without trying to blame it all on him. Just suggest that if he wants to plan for another meet up - to have it on neutral ground like a restaurant.
And then MOVE on. Shit happens. It wasn't a great experience, next time will be better - hopefully!
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