A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note: OP's original title]I've met a lovely man and we're in love. We'got to know each other slowly since the February and have been exclusive for 2 months BUT I have some issues that are concerning me.He was in a relationship for 5 yrs broke up with he around a year ago. He waited to tell me recently that they were engaged but the other day he tells me he gave her a ring and didn't propose and that she just assummed they were engaged....and he didn't say anything? I call this a red flag - any advice?Also he never asks about me, I can ask him a million questions which he happily answers but when I asked him why he doesn't ask me any he says I'll eventually find out. Red flag or just lazy?One other thing, he has no friends....mine have met him but he hasn't introduced me to anyone. He hasn't told his mother because he's worried his ex keeps in touch with her....what the heck?Should I run and not look back or stay and ask more pointed questions and voice my concerns to him? He's never been married before yet engaged twice (sort of). I'm not sure what to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 I totally agree... narcisist...most definitely. The three things you have stated are key behaviours to the narcisist.
Not wanting to know about you, the 'no friends' thing or a reluctance to introduce you to family and manipulating the truth about his ex. I would also be wary of someone whos been engaged several times as he may have commitment issues. Does he display any other kind of controlling behaviour? Telling you what to wear or always choosing where you both go? Do you feel like the relationship is hard work and your always skirting around his issues to keep the peace? Does he make you feel inferior in any way?
This kind of relationship will take it's toll and your going to be the one who suffers.
Maybe try talking to him first and see what he has to say, but personally I'd be gone.
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