A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok this is my first real mature relationship, with a guy, yes ive had relationships bfore but not like this, hes older then me by 9 yrs though i feel like hes my age, i dont notice the age difference except that he is very busy in business and work and im in university, well anyways he went away 2 days ago on a business trip and he told me bfore he left that he had no extra money and that he might not be able to phone me, cause he might not have enough airtime, he phoned me as he was leaving and he hasnt phoned since. i miss him like mad. should i phone him? i never have bfore. he always phones me or just sms would it seem like im too needy? this relationship means alot to me and i dont want to ruin it. i heard that sometimes when a girl becomes too attached the guy runs away. what should i do?
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female
reader, tdntuck  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Will your ringing him burn whatever minimal airtime he has left? If not, then yes, ring him. Otherwise, why not just sms? If you know what hotel he's staying at, find the number and ring him there, that would be a pleasant surprise and show him that you care and are thinking of him.
Contacting him, as you've laid out, is certainly not being needy.
A
female
reader, millymoo  +, writes (14 November 2010):
One phone call in an entire relationship does not make you needy!! Ring him at a time when he's most likely to pick up, especially if he's likely to be working (i.e. try just before bed or at the start of the day).
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 You can still email him. My rule is, for every three times he phones you you phone him one time. After 5 phone calls you go out on a date. There has to be consistency, otherwise it would be like daydreaming. Ask him about the job. Get to know his personality. Find out for how long he has to be away for business trip, how often, the nature of his job, then determine whether this relationship is good for you. It goes both ways. If he has the same feelings for you he would be afraid you would lose interest too. An older guy usually knows how a girl works. This relationship sounds like a new one to me. Maybe he doesn't see how important you are yet. I have the impression that it could become one of those ldr situations where you daydream something would happen, and he makes promises and couldn't deliver. I don't know this guy so I can only assume. The feelings can be intense but that says nothing about the success of the relationship. If he's so busy with work and has to go away a lot, how big is your role in his life? You sound like a considerate person, you are not needy at all. If anything fails it would be the fact that his lifestyle doesn't match yours, and not because you want to call him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 I think that you should ring him, its in no way being needy at all, in fact it shows him that you care about him and that you are thinking about him. So ring him. Needy is when a girl rings or sms every five minutes and asks a thousand questions and wants him all to herself and gets jelous when he so much as looks at another girl. you are far from needy.
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