A
male
age
36-40,
*rvus
writes:The breakup was almost a month ago. My ex left me for some new guy she barely knew.Now my ex's mother has been trying to contact me. I've been keeping my cellphone turned off most of the time, so she ended up calling my dad instead.She wants to know how I am. She says she loves me like a son. She was always very supportive of me and she knows I love her daughter immensely. She disagrees with the breakup, and she had a big fight with her daughter (my ex) for that.My ex's mother is a great person and I appreciate her a lot. She's smart, fun, wise and caring. I could use her support during these hard times. I have no one else to talk to about this.But if I talk to her, there is a chance my ex will find out, and I have no idea how she would react. Maybe she would pity me for my clinginess, maybe she would hate me for talking about her behind her back, maybe she would not feel concerned.My ex had tried to remain "friends" with me over email, but I insisted that we cut all contact, for the sake of keeping my dignity. Would it be counterproductive to keep contact with her mother?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 December 2010):
Out of courtesy, I think you can afford to talk her. Even if you call her and say that you appreciate that she cares, but that you think it would be better to end contact. Don't just ignore her.
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