A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex of 7 years and I broke up about a week ago. I am going through emotionally tolling ups and downs about the situation as of right now and don't know how to deal. She has become bored and claims "nothing excites me" as to my we have broken up. She is a year or so older than me and has a thing for older guys so I know for a fact that she will be talking to guys more stable than I currently am. She says that in 2 years or so when I graduate college that she wants to rekindle things claiming "everything will be new and exciting again", but I feel like she is going to find someone else older and not want me. I have told myself that I need to just move on but I love the girl. 7 years of history doesn't just disappear. She is already talking to another guy and I feel like shit. While I do feel like we have been holding eachother back from doing better things in life and sort of agree with the breakup for the time being, I feel like it may really officially be over and that in 2 years she will be in love with someone else and not want me anymore. I also feel like I shouldn't even give her another chance in 2 years even if she did want me back because she has more less made me an option that she can turn on and off at her pleasure. She says she still loves me, but wants to work on herself and have "life experiences". I am sorta socially awkward and feel like I will never find someone that will amount to her level. **sigh** what should I do? Should I give up and not worry about what may or may not happen in 2 years, or should I remain optimistic about what may happen?
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broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Off course you do, as I said it is still al fresh and you want it to be ok again and you will continue like that until you accept that it is over. Off course you don't want it to be, but you need to see that it is and it is finished and you need to move forward now, or else you will be stuck in a rut!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI realize that I've gotta go on with my life, no way in hell I'm just going to sit around waiting for her to be ready or whatever...but as of right now I do want things to work out in the future.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 December 2011):
Off course seven years are not going to just disappear from your memory, everything is still raw at the moment, off course it is going to be hard for a while, these things always are. It is going to take you some time to deal with this. So allow yourself to grieve for the relationship you once had. Have friends around, and just give yourself time.
I think you need to let go of the fact that she will come back to you in two years, you or her can't guarantee that for a fact. At the end of the day you say you are afraid that she will meet someone else before that, but then again you might meet someone as well. You cannot just put your life on hold and hope for something that might never happen. You are single again so be single and just live your life.
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