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How do I handle my slutty, model roommate?

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Question - (3 December 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 December 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My friend looks like a model and is SUPER pretty and I am just somewhat pretty. At the start of college, she started to party and now she has a reputation of a slut.

Some guys, because we are friends, thought I was the party type too. I'm not. I don't like to drink nor anything. This guys has consistently tried to break me down too. some of the girls have kind of edged him on. For two weeks there were some rumors about me but they were proven untrue and now people try to hang out with me and I have some REAL admirers (not guys who just wnat to use me).

The thing is...my model friend realizes that we're treated differently now. When the rumors started, she left me to the wolves for a bit. Then, after they died down...she tries to backlash on the guys who helped to destroy the rumors AND she acts like an even bigger slut when they are around me and she's there, like she's trying to make it like I am like her.

She wants to room together next year but I just don't trust her. I guess the other thing is that before she hhad a boyfriend, she was married, and while she was married she made out and broke off the marriage bc of her current boy friend.

I dont want to be rude and we will be roomates for a while longer...but how do I handle this?

And how do I keep my reputation? some girls and the guy who kind of looks like a fool are really trying to characterize me as a wild crazy slutty party girl!!!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (3 December 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntBeing a good person - a good girl - is its own reward. Continue to be an upstanding your woman... and the "reputation" that you endured as a function of your roommate's escapades will soon evaporate. YOU can control what is your reputation... your roommate cannot....

Sounds like you SHOULD get a different roommate next semester. Is there some (other) woman/coed who you like and spend time with.... and she would want to room with you? If so, then suggest that you and she room together...

Good luck....

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2011):

Starlights agony auntI read somewhere;

"people will judge you by your friends.

So be careful of the company you keep."

I think you follow my gist.

This friend of yours has obviously not shown much regard to you in this situation or toned her behavior down.

If you feel you cannot trust her, explain to her you want your own room without her. You can make an excuse up if you dont want to hurt her.

She does not sound like much of a friend anyway if she cannot understand your feelings on how she is behaving. Its pushed your friendship to the limit. There is not much respect. Plus she sounds like she is has little self esteem to be behaving like that.

Personally i suggest that if you want to avoid the "slutty" name tag and she wont respect your feelings then keep the friendship at a "distance" and to a minimum.

Hope this helps!

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