A
female
age
,
*weety1
writes:I met this totally awesome guy a couple weeks ago. We go out or just hang out at his place. We have so much in common it's crazy. I've never believed in the soul mate thing till I met him. Everything was fine. He told me he was falling in love with me and that was after we had sex. We made plans for going to races and a lot of other stuff. We were together most of the weekend and it was great. Just clicked. Then on Monday he didn't call at usual time but did call. No problem. Next day no call at all. I called him and he told me to go ahead and get my dress for Valentine's Day party. Next day same thing. When I called him I asked him if he was mad he said lord no. Just a lot on his mind and he would call later. Not heard from him in 4 days. I tried calling but he won't answer. I saw his friend 2 nights ago and she said I'm all he talks about and he likes me a lot. I know he's stressing over hours at work being cut but what the hell. His friend has no reason to lie. She's married and they have all been friends for awhile. She said he wasnt a player and he just disappears some times for a few days. He won't even take their calls when he gets in one of his moods. Am I supposed to wait out his funky mood to prove I still care or move on? I have never felt a connection to anybody before like I did him. Please help.
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female
reader, tweety1 +, writes (10 February 2009):
tweety1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks sappygirl for your reply. I've decided to just forget about the idiot. I found out today he has such a huge ego. The last time we were together we were playing darts. I've never played before & he's played for years. I beat him both games we played & he's pissed. He said I was too smart for him coz I know a lot about computers. He's also jealous coz everybody says I sing better than him. I've wounded his ego & he dumped me. This guy is 36 & not a kid. I met him at the karaoke bar he's been going to for years. I'm still gonna go & sing. That's my passion. He can just get over seeing me there or go somewhere else. Big baby. Time to let him go crawl off and lick his wounds.
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (10 February 2009):
 I just had a guy look me in the eyes tell me "he loves me"
then... got drunk and messed with w/another girl in the next room. Us girls want to find an explanation because things don't add up or make sense. But when it comes down to it, you look at the actions and not the words. Read the book "He's just not into you". then it'll make complete sense
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A
female
reader, tweety1 +, writes (9 February 2009):
tweety1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmaybe I can add a little more info. He introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend. He acted like everything was fine a week after we had sex. That's when he told his friends not mine that he liked me a lot & we have fun together. His friends say he's a good guy and not a player. They said his family is a pain & pulls him in 10 directions at once & he gets stressed and hides out for awhile. I asked them if he was with somebody else & they said no. When he gets like this he just wants to be alone & won't even talk to them. He's the one who made all these plans for us for the future such as going to races & stuff. I've been out of the dating game for along time. I took care of my parents until they passed so this crap is all kinda new to me. I find it hard to believe he's an asshole but maybe he is & just plays the game really well. Thanks for your input.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (9 February 2009):
I hate to tell you but if you read your post, you gave sex to him only after a couple of weeks of knowing him.
He told you he was "falling in love" with you after having sex. C'mon. you should know by now that men will say whatever they can to get you know what.
I'd hate to tell you but the crazy connection could only be one-sided. Some men are so good at creating attraction and impression that they are want something serious but the fact of the matter is they don't. They just want to have the most sex with as less commitment as possible.
His action is telling you something loud and clear. He is creating distance to tell you that "Hey..just because we had great sex does not mean you're the one and i'm going to be your boyfriend". The best thing to do now is play it cool. stop contacting him and go on with your life. If he calls, don't give him any attention. As women when we fall for someone we just want to cut to the good stuff. the love the affection, ect... but those things take time. A lot of time. And i've seen it all before ..the sooner you give them sex..there is nothing for them to work for, they get bored and move on.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (9 February 2009):
 I dont think I would play the game he is playing we deserve better then what they deal us at times there is more fish in the sea and you should dive in and then if he really is in love with you maybe it will jar his brain a little and he will wake up and say hey I dont want to loose this woman so maybe I should make some changes in the way I deal with my downs .Lots of men use the downs as a excuse to treat us any ole way they wish but Hell no dont put up with it your better then that go out look around who knows maybe there is something better out there for you..... GOOD LUCK XXXXX
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