A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelxxx
writes:I'm 24, I'm thinking of going to uni in sept to further my education, which i think is the best for future employment, the course is 3 years long, i really want another baby with my bf, we have a really good relationship, and i want my 3 year old son to have a brother or sister, but if i do the course, it will be a big age gap between them if i wait 3 years, what shall i do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Doing a university course is a big commitment. You may qualify for childcare grants while you study, but having a new baby at home with exams and coursework deadlines will exhaust you. You are quite young so time is probably not a big concern, and your relationship is solid. I personally think an age gap between siblings is a good thing - it gives you time to devote to each infant that perhaps you wouldn't have time for if you had several young children at home all clawing for attention. If your son was in school, it would give you more time to spend on your baby and catching up with sleep! If you wait until you finish your degree, your child will be school-age then. You will still be young enough to be a mother again. You could then enter pregnancy for the second time with a qualification that offers you some security for the future.
A
female
reader, lockwood11 +, writes (7 August 2010):
If this is something you really want (both of you), then I say go for it. Make sure you have plenty of support both morraly and financialy and give it a go. Gook luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Why not wait until you are in the last year of the 3 year course to get pregnant - graduate with a bump like me :) This is my first child but personally i get on better with my bro who is 5 years my juniour than i do with my older bro who is 2 years my seniour. Just too much jealously and competition with the older one, even now as adults we seem to hate each other's guts. Where as with the younger one, i sort of helped guide and parent him - we are closer because we weren't fighting for the attention. I was in a much better place to have a sibling with a five year gap, confident of my parents' love and pretty established as my own little character. I don't think personally 5 - 6 years is too much of a gap, i think its ideal :) Plus, no nappies and coursework at the same time :)
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