A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just broke up with my long distance boyfriend of 3 years. We are seniors in college and heading in different directions. I still love him but I just think if we continue to ignore issues and try to force it to work, we will get even more hurt in the end and compromise great opportunities for our futures. This is tough for me to admit because I wish it wasn't in my thoughts but I am curious about other guys. The break up was not at all about wanting to explore other options and at this point it would be stupid to get into another relationship because I broke up for me to learn about myself and what I really want. But right now what I really want is to be with a guy sexually. I have had sexual experiences in the past, before my boyfriend, but I have only gone all the way with him. I have this fear that if I ever had sex with another person, that it would be the ultimate betrayal and we would never have the option to get back together. I think the thought of reuniting is nice, but that is not the goal of the break up. Who knows what could happen. But I still have that irrational thought that being with another guy is cheating. I do not want to feel that way and I am really craving some action. I didn't realize this but I now finally have agency over my body and my own desires (not that I didn't with my boyfriend but this is different agency). I definitely am wary of craving sexual intimacy as a replacement of a relationship but I also want to recognize that it is something I need and want.Should I pursue my options or wait it out until I wouldn't feel guilty? I fear I will feel guilty no matter the time between the break up.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): Can you directly tell your ex that you are going to be dating other guys?
I mean let your ex understand there will be sex involved. No using excuses like "This other guy is just a friend I'm hanging out with lately, I dunno where it's going."
If you can't tell your ex that you are moving on then don't do it.
And if you are moving on, then its probably better for your ex in the long run if he knows it for sure.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 I know in your head you want to experience being with another guy, but am not sure you are ready just yet. If you are feeling guilty then maybe you should just slow things down. Have you been broken up long? I think I have read other posts from you before about this break up. Just take things slow. Rediscover yourself and enjoy being single. If a guy comes in to the picture go with the flow, do whatever you feel comfortable with. Enjoy your life and don't feel guilty, you are now single. I think you know deep in your heart though that this break up is not permanent or that you don't want it to be and that is why you are afraid to have sex with someone else because you might fear that it will be the end of you and your ex for good. You need to let him go in order to enjoy being single. It is not healthy holding on to him.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 What's your rush? Why not just chill, enjoy being single and see who comes along who catches your eye? Don't plan anything. Just go with the flow.
It is normal for relationships started so early in life to falter as you both mature and want different things. Don't feel guilty about breaking up because you no longer see a future together.
If you have completely finished with your ex, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about anything going on with someone else. You are a free agent.
Enjoy.
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