A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I call him?We've known each other for years. Hadnt seen him in years. He's been through a lot in life. Drug addictions, crazy women, absent father. He has had over 3 kids only two are alive, the rest died almost immediately after birth. Sad I know. Many different women (Most likely because his mom has many different men) You may be asking why even bother? Well like I said We've known each other for over a decade. We were never intimate until recently. We spoke about love and marriage, and kids and careers and change and jealousy and dependency and all that stuff that should be discussed before a relationship can be built. He was never really the type to express his feelings but he did with me and I believed most of what he said. I was skeptical about the whole being faithful thing since his dating record is extensive...but I also know that a man that wants to settle dont wont do it until hes ready...which according to him he is. anyways bottom line is should I call him? Should I pursue something with him? Factors to consider on my behalf is that this was a life long dream...but could it be that it was only an illusion? He kind of makes me feel complete. I mean I dont need him to feel complete but I feel good by his side. Comfortable, at ease, loved. Could he change for the better? He's not even 25 yet. He had a good upbringing with strong morals so I know he knows the difference b.w right and wrong, the key is to get him act on the good and get rid of the bad. How? I feel like I want to save him from something. --- CONFUSED.
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female
reader, accused  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hey I went thru this same situation a long time ago, and trust me this is a hard one!
If he was in the middle of a lake and didn't know how to swim and you did. Then maybe you could save him..
You can't save someone from anything, He has to want to save himself. You stated that the reason he has several kids with different women was because his Mom has several different men? Then at the end of your post you stated that he had a good upbringing and strong morals. I think that you are trying to convince yourself to be with this guy. Personally, my advice to you would be to let him grow up and fully mature. I am not saying that your life long dream could never be reached, I'm just saying that from the information you've provided he still has issues to deal with. You seem to be a caring person, So be careful with this one... Feel free to drop me a private message if I can help.. Best of luck....Accused
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