Should I pick either of these guys?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been dating a guy long distance for a while - was brilliant at first - talking all the time etc - couldn't get enough of each other. He is American - he even shockingly showed an interest in marrying me or so he said at the time, so this good vibe went on for a bit until some other American dude started moving in on my profile page that he hated. My date got insecure and jealous and I tried in earnest to reassure him that all was ok but to no avail. When I had gone offline, I came back to see him say he was yesterdays news! And suddenly both of them catapulted me into this which one of us will you pick situation. I picked neither at the time. I was so annoyed at the time at both of them for 2 different reasons - at the date: for getting so insecure and letting this guy piss him off - I sent lovey dicey stuff to his page which he thumbed in a bid to help him resolve this but still I felt he had effectively and indirectly said I don't trust you... At the other guy for overstepping the mark as we are only friends - good friends. I got mad and said to the friend privately why are you trying to sabotage what I have got going on with this guy? If you do again I will have to delete you he said sorry and that was the end of it or so I thought! The date then started to ignore me so I ignored him back meanwhile the friend started laying affectionate comments on my pics. I did 0, just watched. Now the date has complained of my lack of contact and I said well I don't chase a man and you have only shown me the bare min of interest yet you profess to love me..want to marry me, he had even suggested baby too in the past! I have a young 7 month old - am a single mom but doing well for myself! As for the friend he seems smitten yet tries to hide it - thing is loads of women dig my friend already hence my date getting insecure... Guess I am the first girl not to and he feels challenged by this. Now it's looking like I should have gone for my friend instead... I tested the waters here and when I show some interest in seeing the friend he doesn't reply - when I do absolutely 0 - he is nearly begging for me to reply and sending nice vids etc that suggest he loves me! I find this v confusing. I have kept my distance from both so that I can make the right choice... Been spending more time playing with the baby as the drama was getting out of hand so went offline for a while but as soon as I am back - the saga continues. I know I have to delete one of them but both are on an equal par in terms of their actions and now the friend is doing more...IDK but what is going on with these two and what would you do?? I just want to be fair and pick the good one but both are faulty so I guess for now neither?? It's v annoying!! Any info would be great!! Thanks!!

View related questions: insecure, jealous, long distance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

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