A
female
age
41-50,
*ot Willing 2 Settle
writes:I recently met a great guy online. However he lives 1200 miles away. Anyhow, I was supposed to visit him few weeks ago and although he didn't know I had already booked a hotel. (he thought that I would stay with him cuz we do have mutual friends and we had been talking for several weeks) But before my trip he suggested that I get a hotel room because he thinks that this is really something and doesn't want to complicate it yet which I thought was really great of him to suggest. Well now he is coming to visit me. His trip here was planned before we even met becuz he has family here. But now it seems that I am the center of his trip. When I collect him from the airport he wants to stay in the metro area for an extra day and take me to one of the areas theme parks the next day. He suggested that we check into a hotel there have nice dinner maybe catch a movie or something and the next day is already planned. He is also staying with me while he is in town instead of at his dad's or best friend's house. Well if he wanted to wait 3 weeks ago what has changed now. We still have not spent quality one on one time together.It has been 3 years since I have had any intimacy or sex with a man and he knows that so I am getting a little nervous about what may or may not happen. I am not one for casual sex at all.. I have to say that earlier on in our communication he was all but asking me to move near him, he scouted newspapers for employment in my career field and seemed more into the idea of something long term. He has slowed in that department which I am relieved cuz it was moving pretty fast. We still talk a lot and our talks are more about everyday stuff instead of me relocating or how crazy we are for doing this and such. He has even invited me to join him on a really big trip the middle to end of March. I just don't want to ruin this because we seem to communicate really well and I really think that this may be the start of something really good. I am even considering relocating closer to him when I am done with school but if I do it will be for me not him. What do I do cuz I have about ten different emotions going on right now and I am unable to concentrate on much of anyhing...
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Hi Hunny
First you ask him if he would stay at his friends or a hotel for that time period as you would like to get to no him better before you spend a night with him. The going out bit sounds ok as you will have the opportuity to see the person behind the screen, You sound sensible so you no the dangers, The reason I dont think its a good idea for him to stay with you is not only you havent met him before but I would feel uncomfortable you just dont no someones ways and its a frighening thought to have someone in your home you dont no really.
He sounds pushy bare this in mind hunny, and make sure you are paying attention to his body language, Dont be put into a situation you dont feel happy and comfortable with dont move anywere untill you no this person better, And always think and take care of you. Be prepared for anything and when you do meet make sure you are in a public place so you have the time to get to know him ok hunny PLEASE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 I think just take it easy, everything you decide to do in this relationship be quotious, this guy is moving at a fast pace than you are. You had everything planned before u meet him and cotinue being you and do not let a new online relationship change you because you might find that things arent as they seem in the long run. If he planned his trip before he met u why is everything changed so dramatically that there is not even a minute he is spending with his relative/friend in his schedule? why does he insist on you moving to his side not him?
Becareful of man who squander women of their fortune and leave them dry then they are off to their next victim. play around with these thoughts and see what u get, be objective about this kind of relationship not everyone in an online dating is honest about who they are. Find out why you have become the center of his trip, dont just take his word for it do your maths.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Have you actually ever met this guy in person? Are you absolutely sure that he is not married? Do you have his home telephone number and call on occasion on a whim rather than when he says that you may? You explain a lot but I would think that my questions, if the answers are negative, could indicate that you have hooked-up with a man who is not being entirely straight about things.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Woah slow down rewind and stop going fast forward!!!
What is the hurry? Go ahead and go on date with him, but if I was you leave it at that and don't sleep with him on the first date. Yes by all means check into a hotel, but minus him. You don't know this guy from Adam, he could sleep with you and then have it on his toes and you may never see him again. If he really does care for you, then he will be prepared to wait for you. As for moving 1200 miles away to be with him, I would just get to know him first before you make any rash decisions of moving closer to him. Sure long term romances can work, but I would take it one step at a time my dear. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Dusky xxx.
...............................
|
