A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Let me give a quick backstory:I have a best friend I’ve know since the end of high school, close to 4 years now. We dated briefly at the time, but due to some irrationality on my part and some communication problems, it ended over a slight bit of time. By the time college began, she moved up north and I stayed in-state. We kept good contact with each other ever since and always see each other whenever given the chance. Even last summer, I went up to visit her and her family and later on, she came down to visit. We’ve written letters back and forth, exchanged gifts throughout the year, etc. We both express our feelings for each other consistently.Now here’s the main point: For a while now, she’s been pushing me that I should move up to where she is, to finish school with her and plan something to do afterwards. Not too long ago, she expressed her desire for us to get back together dating again, something she hasn’t done with anyone else before. I agreed, as I care for her a lot. Thing is, I’m practically becoming a senior in college very soon and I see it as kinda too late (and just maybe too costly, though I’m not sure about that) for me to make such a giant leap across the nation, and I’d be leaving a number of people I know here, including my best buddy in college.I want to ask this: Would it be of good intentions to move up to where she is at this point? Would it be a good learning experience? Or should things pan out after college is done?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): OP here.
I'm currently a college senior, and this sort of move doesn't mean I would be ditching my education. I've invested a lot into it and would be ludicrous to stop now when I'm so close to finishing. I meant that I would transfer to another college in the state where she is (possibly even the same college she attends) and continue my studies until I graduate, not abandon it all. Though I do see the points made here.
This whole situation is just a consideration. It's not something exactly concrete at the moment. I appreciate the opinions!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2014): Honestly if it means abandoning your education, I would advise against moving. You're feeling very emotionally high and prone to do more ruthless things- like throwing away years of study maybe? I wikied "senior" (British lol) and do you mean you're a H/S senior or college senior? Basically if you can get some sort of transfer or carry on your education there, and you haven't invested a lot of years and money on a college education, not much to lose then hell, may as well go for it...If on the other hand you've invested the opposite into your education, then really consider the level of regret and the extent of the loss.I'm not undermining your feelings but most couples don't stay together forever. You clearly have something very special, that won't be lost easily. I just cant describe how much i regret many of my education choices, and don't want you to leave yourself stuck or jeopardise your future...Good luck anyway! :)
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A
male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (3 April 2014):
Hey, my opinion on this is, you're in the middle of your education making this an important time in your life. Honestly your education comes first at this point and you need to look after yourself. Keep incontact with her but finish things up where you are now and then decide what you want to do. Moving for one person because they want you too is like putting your eggs in one basket. I hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do.
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