A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:OK....Well Im kind of in a very hard situation at the mo and need some advice. Im 25 and have only ever been in love with one person. Unfortunately, that 1 person knows it and takes advantage and treats me bad. We got together 3 years ago and I fell for him fast. He dumped me for someone else after 6 months. That was bad enough but then I had to put up with him being really nasty about me, flaunting his new relationship in front of me and just calling me names. Even tho I was the one who was dumped, not him. If it wasnt for good friends and family I dont know how I would of got throug it. But I did, it took 18 months to fully get over him. Then earlier this year I bump into him and find that he is no longer with this girl. He asks to meet me, and although alarm bells go off in my head, I stupidly agree. I started meeting up with him regulalry and sleeping with him. Stupid I know, but he promised me he had made a mistake before and I believed him. Then 3 months into our "fling" he finishes it for no reason. But by this time I had fallen for him again and so was heartbroken. He tells me there isnt anyone else, he just doesnt want the committment. But then last week I see him with another girl, kissing. I demand to know who she is and he told me someone hes just met. But then I get an anonymous message to tell me theyve been together months. Obvisouly, Im devastated. Ive cut all ties with him, blocked him from my phone and emails. But Im broken. Ive been so upset I havnt been eating and cant concentrate at work. I feel so stupid for letting him into my life and hurting me again. Not only that but I feel he was using me for sex until he met someone he liked, which makes me feel cheap and dirty. He;s made me feel so many bad emotions that I think its impossible for me to stay in the same twon as him and have to see him with her all the time. The first time round was bad enough, I dont wanna go through that again. So my best friend is going to canada to work for 6 months in November and has offered me to go with her. Im so tempted as I really do feel that I could do with a break, to get my sorted and get away from him. But Im in a good job and that would mean quitting. Also, Im in debt and need my monthly payments to continue, and dont know if I could do this abroad. All I want to do is get away from him and this hurt that Im feeling. I dont know what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): I would have said go along as I thought you had no commitments i.e children but then I read the last paragraph and kinda changed my first response. I think you should sort out the problems you have over here like the debt and given up a well paid job is a huge risk. To up and leave for a uncertain future is a risky business mainly because you are only doing it to get over someone. I think that if you had wanted to take a risk for any other reason it would have been ok. You need to focus on dealing with the break up in a different way as the problem will still be in your head no matter where you go. Is there anything else you could do to make sure you dont see him. I.e stop going to places where you will know he will be.
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