A
female
age
30-35,
*akel
writes:Hi. Im 15 years old atm and im having trouble with my family. The basic story is that my nan has dementia and my grandad and mum are trying to do the best for her. however they got into an argument over what would happen to her. Now they are in this big fight and are not talking anymore. My neighbours who we are really close to are trying to help my grandad out because hes old and cant do much for himself but my mum got annoyed with them. Yesterday I talked to my grandad and neighbours and uncle about how i felt about it all and i basically said that i hate my family fighting because ive all ready lost one half cuz i dont see my dad anymore. Im feeling really isolated and felt that if i did something with my mum or grandad i wud upset the other person. I talked to my mum about it with my neighbour for support and she threw it back in my face and i was only trying to help the situation and now i feel like a cast off cuz she had a huge go at me and said that she could never forgive me but i dont see what ive done wrong. :( Now my mum has said that after i finish my GCSE'S she is moving but i dont want to and i was wondering what the legal age for moving out is and whether or not i shud talk to my dad and stay there when im 16 until i go to university and i dont know what to do with situation with my mum for the year i have left. Im sorry its long but i dont know what to do anymore and its getting ott. please help?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 August 2009):
I think you mum is really stressed and she's probably taking it out on you. That isn't right, but unfortunately she is only human and will make mistakes.
Go and tell her you are sorry for upsetting her and you love her and wanted to help and you don't understand what you did to upset her.
It's not your fault but you have to be the man of the house here and make the first move by saying sorry when you probably don't need to.
Tell her you want to talk and be calm with her and ask her why she wants to move and how will it affect your chances of going to university.
I know she will be super proud of you wanting to go to uni and do something great with your life. Talk about which colleges are best for doing A-levels in and whether it would be better to move with your dad if there is a good sixth form closer to him, or if she is moving somewhere with a good college.
I think you'll find this will all be ok, if you go and say you want to help her and stay with her. Be calm and mature and she will too. She probably just needs a hug because she's so stressed about HER mum.
Imagine what it would be like to see YOUR mum with dementia. It's not nice to see that person disappear. She will be feeling really sad right now and is probably trying to look strong for you.
Good Luck!! xx
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