A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on face book about a month ago. We started chatting on messenger just getting to know each other. . he mentioned few times that we should hangout to get to know each other. I have asked him what he wants to do, and each time he would say it does not matter...he is down for whatever. I was having hard time coming up with an idea on what to do due to lack of options because of the pandemic. So i told him that i'm still thinking of where to go hangout but most social outings are closed due to covid. That's when he said " eh lol it really doesn't matter I like watching tv shows, movie's,drinks,and etc since we can't do much outside lolThat's when i said it has to be in public since we are pretty much strangers and I jokingly said he could be serial killer for all we know and I quickly told him that serial killer is joke but and he just laughed. We continue chatting here and there and he hasn't brought up meeting up again but still in contact..even though there are some times when he goes MIA for day or 2. Which i thought was odd but i never asking him about it or think much of it since we are not in relationship.Finally I brought up the idea of us going for a walk which was followed by me stating that the person i want to get to know has to be single and willing to meet in public at least the first few time to see where it leads. He never responded so i thought i came on too strong.Which i regretted I did not hear from him for 5 days then he messaged me and said Hey beautiful how are you doing "I responded and also asked how is work. crickets since and it shows that he read the message and it has been 4 days. I sent another message asking how is work after few days, it shows it's been read but no response. I sent another one after 2 days asking if he messaged me by accident since it's weird that he messaged me only to pull back when i responded. It shows he has been online but the message hasn't been read. So it appears he is ignoring and won't bother opening my messages...should i move on or give him time to come around?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2020): [EDIT]: Typo corrections
"When you've been in-touch over an extended-period; then it comes to a halt."
"He's shady, and you're getting a little too anxious about his lengthy pauses."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2020): This is a game that guys play online. They get you interested by being charming, chatting for hours on-end, making cutsie jokes, and testing your gullibility and desperation-levels.
When you've been in-touch over a extended period; then it comes to a halt. Weird pauses and/or radio-silence for days. That's a red-flag!!! They want you to get anxious, and crave their attention. Then when they comeback, they shower you with sweet-talk and compliments. I've warned women about this time and time again here on DC! Not sure if any really take heed to the warning!
Take note. First the contact is regular, and your chat-sessions are lengthy. You'll message back and forth for hours! He'll compliment you a lot. Tell you how different you are from other ladies he knows. Then suddenly, you don't hear from him.
What's your emotional-response to the sudden silence? You'll get anxious, wonder what you did wrong, start feeling you've somehow offended him. You'll feel yourself waiting in anticipation; and almost distressed and impatient to hear from him. Sweetheart, that's how players play their head-games! That's how they get sex with very little effort. Then once they hit it, they get cool and distance. Go silent, until they want a booty call.
You can't meet in public, and taking a walk was a very bad suggestion.
He's wearing you down, hoping you'll finally invite him to your place; or you'll come to his. You wouldn't have written a post to DC; if you weren't seriously entertaining the idea. You seem quite naive; and he's picking-up on it!
I agree with Honeypie. It's time to end these little chat-sessions. He's shady, and you're getting a little to anxious about his lengthy pauses. That too is a red-flag!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2020): You asked him what he wants to do. I think it's fairly obvious what he wanted to do. And it didn't involve a walk. He is surfing facebook and other platforms to find the girls/women out there who are still naive enough to believe that when a strange man suggests a meeting, he means anything other than sex. Or a very few meetings in which he is willing to invest some time, if he thinks he will get sex.
He has more than likely found some other woman who is giving him sex faster and with less time invested than he found with you. Thank goodness. Move on and may I suggest, wise up?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2020): move on ! , its not what people like to hear but ive been in similar situations and if he doesnt answer your questions and skirts round them and always goes quiet then back off , do what he does - dont read his message for a couple of days then read it but dont respond , if hes interested then let him do the work. I got told if hes not investing the same in you as you are in him then dont waste your time. If and only if he keeps up showing interest you can say to him (example ) saturday 1pm we can meet at blahblah park by the main entrance. Dont ask if hes free or if it suits him take charge and see how he responds just remember 3 strikes and hes out so if youve already asked him to meet and hes not replied and ' ignored ' that bit of your question to just chat about something else thats the first strike.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 September 2020):
 Eh, block the guy, honey.
He wasn't looking to get to know you, he was looking to "get to know you" (as in.... see you in private you two alone and probably hoping it would lead to some casual sex).
You are right, you don't know him from the next guy. He could BE a serial killer or... have a string of other girls he slept with and dumped.. or he is talking to MULTIPLE girls (which is HIGHLY likely) or you could have nothing in common to talk about, or he could creep you out... etc..
The fact that he couldn't be BOTHERED to figure something to do out in public, and when you suggested a walk he INGORED it should tell you that he REALLY didn't WANT to invest the time to get to know YOU.
Block him and move on.
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