A
female
age
30-35,
*utter
writes:Hello everyone,I've been attracted to this one guy for a few years now. we're close friends, but every time I break up with a guy (e.g. my two exes in the past 3 years) I find myself drifting back to him. My attraction ranges from indifference when I was dating my ex in January before he moved across the country (and I couldn't go so we broke up because neither of us wanted a long distance relationship) to complete infatuation. I find it hard to even talk to him sometimes without being weak in the knees, it's really bad. He is a complete snob though (is incredibly patronising and condescending towards everyone) and there are parts about his personality I really don't like, and he's told me mixed things about how he feels towards me, the most recent is that he 'likes me but not in the way I like him, and really cares about me as a friend.'I want to get over him, but we're both staying in the same town to finish studying next year and he wants to move into a share house with me, just me and him. We've lived in a dorm the last few years with 300 others because we're both from opposite ends of the country, plus all our mutual friends are moving away and he doesn't know anyone else he can get a flat with. I decided last year (on my own without any consideration of him) that I would get a flat either by myself or with some friends I know in town. I'd like to think we could both move in together and exist fine as friends, but I think this would just make my feelings towards him get stronger and I don't want that to happen! Does anyone have any ideas? By the way, we're both the same age, we're both single, except I'm getting fairly close with another guy and may not be single for long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): Sounds like it would not be worth the hassle to move in with your friend. Like you said, it would most likely affect your feelings for him, and at worst you might end up in a FWB situation. If you start dating someone else, that will complicate things (you don't want your new guy to start off jealous, do you?) Keep it simple and stick to your original plans--your friend will find another place to stay.
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