A
male
age
30-35,
*anadaboy11
writes:Hello Everyone,I am 22 years of age and my girlfriend is 19. We met in college and have been dating for almost 8 months now.I have done everything for her imaginably. Id do anything for her.Ive treated her like gold. I do admit that I am a little bit jealous at times. She has done a few things to me which I took offensively. She has gone to clubs without letting me know lieing to me. When she went on vacation I seen pics of her kissing another guy on the cheek and hugging him and I dont know what else might have happened there.Anyways...She works as a waitress and about two weeks ago she had a guy leave her his number at her work and she took it and was talking to him behind my back. I would never hurt her and have never cheated on her but because of past relationships with other guys she has no trust for me at all. She also has a tendency to over drink and get drunk and on a few occasion physically hit me in the face. Which i just took and never hit her back. I really love her and want to make things work out. The past few weeks ive noticed that weve become a bit disconnected and have multiple times tried to arrange stuff for us to do such as going out for dinner etc. and last minute she always has an excuse not to come down and see me and just stays home and asks me to go see her which is about an hour away. Which I always say yes to because I want to see her. She also always starts just randomly just yelling and disrespecting me infront of her friends. It has gotten to the point where I have just broken down infront of her because I dont know what else I can possibly do to make things right. I feel as if I am the only person in this relationship who is trying to make things work. I love her alot and am hoping that she can change the way she is a realize what she has. My question is if I should just move on or continue to see what comes out of this..?
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male
reader, 1truluv  +, writes (13 June 2011):
Hey Canadaboy. I think that what she's doing to you isn't right my friend. You have fallen in love with this woman who lied to you about who she was from the beginning of the relationship, since being with you she can see that you are a nice guy and would do anything for her, so she becomes more of her real self around you. She's walking all over you like a doormat man. You don't need that. She didn't change in ur relationship, she seems to be just slowly showing you who she really is. If she keeps making excuses and lying, it's better off if you just leave her. Never go into a relationship and try to change someone, because it'll never happen unless they want to change. You wear ur heart on ur sleeve my friend, and I'm not saying its a bad thing. I do too actually. Bad thing is, guys like us will get hurt more often than not, but one day you will find someone who appreicates the way you are and how you love them. Good luck bro. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): This is a bit of an interesting one for me to answer as I am in a very similar situation with my boyfriend (although he doesn't act as extreme as your girl friend does with regards to violence, he has just done and said some really unforgivable things and I have sat and taken it my worst crime being that I cry too much and that I can come across as needy but all I really want is his approval and respect so really I need to listen to the advice I am going to give you and do the same but I totally understand how difficult it is to hear all your mates/ people on here say how you should leave them becuase you deserve better but inside you really love them and want them to be the person that you fell for 8 months ago and not the monster they are now who doesn't seem to give a damn about the person they are with.I really think you need to break up with her - that is the bottom line I am afraid she shows you no respect and I don't think that she realises how amazing she has it with you and takes you for granted and I think she needs to realise what her life would be without you in it so if you do decide that leaving her is the right thing to do then you need to a) stick to your guns and b) cut contact completly as she needs to properly experience her life without you a bit of a case of "don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got until it's gone"... after that if you still love her and she has realised the serous ERROR of her ways then perhaps you can think about redating but I think having "culled" her from your life your eyes will open and you will wake up and smell the coffee and realise how much better and happier your life is without her in it ! She needs to learn that she can't treat anyone either bf or friends like this and you have to be strong and stick to your guns! I am sure you can do it and then all your love and care can go to some lovely wonderful girl who appriciates and reciprocates it! Good Luck- I hope you make the right decision for you and are happy because relationship are meant to be fun not stressful and sad! X
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