A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend, I just don't know if I'm in love with him and I don't know what to do.I love him because he's a great person, he truly cares for me, he's fun to be around, etc.However, I'm getting so tired of our relationship because1. He never pays- I'm always the one paying for everything. I work my butt of and go to college.Trust me when I say I've tried to fix this. I've tried talking, I've tried telling him I had no money to go out, hoping he would invite me- nothing!2. I'm a girl, I love to be surprised, taken to places, made feel like a lady and this isn't happening. I always have to pick where to go. Whenever I ask him, the answer is always "I don't know." Now, he's always very eager to see me and hang out, but I always have to pick what we're going to do and I don't like it. Again, we've talked about this but nothing's changed.3. The other night we had a huge fight and ever since then, honestly, I have not been the same with him.I have honestly TRIED to make this work. I try to see him whenever I can between school and work, I try to make him feel special and try to find ways to show him that I do care.. But that night I guess he was feeling insecure and found out my ex is back in town and blew up completely. He asked me if I still had feelings for him, I told him the honest truth- No. He basically called me a liar saying "Of course you would deny it."I got so mad. He put our relationship "on hold" basically because he said he doesn't want to get hurt and he's scared that I'll leave him to go back with my ex. So basically, he's testing me- us, our relationship right now, because of some insecurity he has.I have tried so much to make him see that I love HIM! But nothing, and honestly I'm getting so tired. Deep down, he is a great person. He has flaws like the rest of us.. but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.My question: Mend it or end it?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 Just let him be. We all have a freedom to choose when we are going to make money. If he goes to work thinking he has to, because he has to treat you, he'd resent it. If your honest truth is that you don't have feelings for him, why bother asking us a mend it or end it? I agree if a guy wants to be a great boyfriend, he should have the motivation to make some money. You should end it, because you want a boyfriend who takes care of you. Even if he's trying to make money now, you are more powerful and mature than he is and he would always look at you as a dominant, big sister figure, which is not what you want.
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