A
female
age
,
*llen2
writes:Hiya!! I have been sending messages to a man on a dating site for about 6 weeks now - he gave me his phone number and said he would like to meet me in person, The thing is he is'nt really the type of man I would go for as he seems to be a bit chubby - I told him I was not looking for anything right now and just wanted friends, he said he would love to be my friend - I am not sure to text him or not he seems nice, Could someone please advise - maybe I am just thinking to much about it! I am telling myself what is the worst tha can happen if we met up for coffee and did become friends.Thanks
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (25 July 2009):
Well I can tell you right now. A man can always lose weight. It is not as devastating for a man to hear you want him to lose some weight as it is for a woman to hear it. If that is the only problem you have with him give the guy a dang chance. Use your instincts though as people looking online for something can conceal themselves. Also spare him the "I am not looking for anything" line. Most guys know the truth in that so have some integrity and tell him that you not exactly attracted to him. If he asks why tell him. Maybe you might be someone he can open up to and looking for encouragement. You never know, if he lost weight you might find him really attracted afterwards. Hope that helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): He's not your type becuase "he seems to be a bit chubby"?
Well, i'm sure there's more to him than that.
I think that, prehaps if you are not interested in him, you should not have been sending him messages for the last six weeks. It's only going to lead the poor guy on! Maybe you will like him and be able to oversee his chub! He can lose it you know, if it taht's important to you.
If you go out with him, then make sure to make it repeatedly clear that you only wish to meet as friends, but i'll warn you that it's likely he'll see passed that and know you're being rejectful. Because, who goes on a dating site looking for friends? Isn't that why it's a dating site? But anyway.. make it clear so that if he meets you still hoping for more, you can't be blamed. There is no harm in having an extra friend, so i don't see why not meet up for coffee..
Just do so in public, in a busy area!
~Sy.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 He's on a dating site. He is hoping to be more than friends. He sounds a bit desperate. You could end up with a stalker. Kinder in the long run just to close it down now.
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