| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Im in love with a guy who I am good friends with, but who has a girlfriend. Their relationship is not serious, only it is to some extent fairly physically because that is the type of people involvd. The thing is, he used to like me, yet I did not realise that my feelings for him were in this context until recently – although I did not reject his advances, he made the descion to leave it because his close friend, an ex of mine, also liked me at that time. I made it clear to my ex that I had no intention of getting back with him for multiple reasons and since we have both moved on, and remain friendly. The guy is question, had a couple of crushes on some other girls after these events, though he later admitted to me that these were just ways to get over myself. We were always honest with each other up until he got this girlfriend and I realised my true feelings for him, now I feel that we have drifted apart slightly, although I am sure that the connection we have is still there, and will continue to be so. Within relationships, I tend to be quite shallow but with this guy, every thing changes. I am totally comfortable around him, we respect each other and enjoy each others company. He seems happy with his current girlfriend, yet I believe he still has feelings for me. We just click, and I honestly believe that if we were together than we would both be happier than the situation we are in now. His girlfriend is a nice enough girl, however she has a past of messing perfectly nice men around, which this man is not aware of. Also, their relationship is viewed as odd; they are not two people that you would have put together. I do not know what to do. I do not wish to cause any unnecasry hurt to anyone involved, all I need is some honest advice from someone who is able to look at this situation from an outsiders point of view. Should I make my feelings clear, and risk loosing a good friendship, and hurting myself, this guy, and his girlfriend? Or should I just accept that I have missed my chance and move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Here is what I think. It does not work really well for the girl, you in this instance, to have the relationship talk with a guy, i.e. make your feelings known.
You have a crush on this boy who is currently involved with someone else. You would be best to continue to develop a friendship with him with no pressure to be anything else. At your young age, relationships tend to change rather quickly...he won't be with her for long or forever....if you concentrate on getting to know him as a person instead of a boyfriend, you stand a better chance of developing something more long term, less shallow, longer lasting, if that is what you are after....if you are after an ego boost, or after stealing him away from someone else, then go ahead and make your feelings known to him. If you really care about him on a deeper level, get to be his close friend, and he will soon be the one to initiate the talk with you, and tell you his feelings, so you won't have to be the one who is being the chosen one, but you will be the one who chooses him.....good luck.
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