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Should I make my BFF dump her boyfriend or should I ignore this?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *uiltmaster918 writes:

Ok, I am in quite a pickle. I have searched yahoo for an answer.

First off, I'm gay.

My bestfriend is a girl. She's like my sister.

Her boyfriend is a really nice guy. At least to everyone but me. HE likes gay people. But he doesn't like me.

He says that it is my fault. That he doesn't like me because i don't like him.

But I do like him. He can just be a jerk. And I have told him this! But he refuses to listen.

It's gotten to the point where i'm not allowed to see my bff. I can only talk to her at school and work. Any other times are for him!

And she made it so that me and her can hang out tomorrow, and he gets pissed off at me!!!!

He told me that if I let her stay the night then he'll kill me. and that it wasn't a treat, it was a promise.

And i told him never to promise something like that to me again.

And started getting a cocky attitude.

So I told him that I can and will retaliate. And he said he'd cut my throat in front of her.

So we exchanged a few more words and I decided to ignore him.

Now, I guess my question is, should I make my bff dump her boyfriend(cause she always says that I'm her conscience and if I told her to, she would) or should I ignore this?

P.S. Now, this seems to be a reoccurring problem. This is the first time he's ever threatened my life, but idk what to do.

But she is very happy with him. And he does appologize afterward.

Please Help me...

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A male reader, guiltmaster918 United States +, writes (16 November 2008):

guiltmaster918 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok, well a little after this incident he called and I actually answered after the eighth call. He was really sorry. I forgave him but I don't expect to be hanging out with him anytime soon! haha.

Also, thank you for your answers, they were very helpful. I will be putting them to use soon, and I appreciate your help. You are right, she does need to make her own decisions, thanks.

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (14 November 2008):

yum yum agony auntIts not up to you to decide for her if she should break up or not. If she ask's you then you should give your true opinion about him. He should respect his girl friend if she likes to hang out with you. He is possesive and a bully if he is giving you these threats. You should stay clear of him and avoid him. Go to the police if he becomes physical.

Your girl friend needs to come up to her own decision.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008):

wow, this is intense. Have you ever thought you have true feelings for your bf? It's a thought. Anyways, her boyfriend is jealous of you because you are Male. It's natural instinct. I think all friends go through a loss period when one of them finds love. If she is happy with him, and you really care about her, then you need to step back some. Her boyfriend is trying to put some distance between you two, so she's more dependent on him than you. This is how is should be right? If the situation were reversed, you wouldn't want her to come between you and love.

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