A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been dating this guy about 3 months now and just the other day i had a fight with him about when we started dating because he hasn't actually said to me that he wants me to be his gf and what not.. he just started calling me his gf about a month and a half ago.. before that we were just seeing each other.. i was talking to a Friend of ours and she asked him when we became bf and gf.. he said about new years.. when she told me this i was like gee it would have been nice for me to know that coz until then i thought we were still seeing each other even though he would call me his gf sometimes.. anyway when i jokingly said to him you haven't actually asked me out yet he got pretty defensive and was like that's juvenile were not in year 9 and 10 any more and that i should be able to feel when it start getting serious or something like that.. only thing is he knew i have never ever had a boyfriend before so how am i supposed to know what the feeling is like. and still hasn't asked me out.. not to mention i have no idea what date would be classified as our anniversary date(yes i know we've only been going out a lil while but us girls like to think in advanced)so is it really that important or am i making a big deal out of it?
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (9 February 2010):
 No, not about the aniversary date its not really that important, but it does help if you want to celebrate it a year later. It is important if you are married though.
About him thinking you were juvenile about the acceptance and just saying your together is juvenile itself. He should be making it clear that YOU are and at least to YOU first and formost with or withought words through mutual acceptance. There is nothing more ruder and juvenile and direspectfull to another person than just assuming you are together withought that persons consent aspecially finding out through an acquaintence or friend. Although this is what many people do and is why many people become confused with the "i love you" if its not confirmed the other can easity pull out of the relationship.
He's somewhat right about, for example standing on top of a hill looking at each other, holding onto each others hands and saying are you my boyfriend now? or will you be my girlfriend.
More often than not Its always better to have a moment in your own time where this usually happens during a fun-loving quick moment, that its confirmed verbally and accepted by both followed by a kiss.
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