A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 years old and have been dating my crush/best friend for over a year. By far, this is the best relationship I've been in so far because we're very compatible and honest with each other. He's really sweet, caring (not just to me, but to people in general), understanding, funny, full of common sense, etc. Unlike other guys, I find that my ability to like him doesn't diminish with time. Even if we weren't dating, I would still care very much for him.Problem is, I sometimes worry about external factors that act outside of us. Deep down, I know that I could even marry this guy or someone with a personality like his. (I haven't told him that ... didn't want to scare him off because it's still early). But, there are really a lot of other factors that play into this.First of all, he's eight years my senior. We talk about the age factor and personally it doesn't bother us because we fit so well together; it's only a problem when other people are concerned. As of now, I've been scared to tell my parents and friends because I'm afraid of being "judged" and they might not like him for going for someone so much younger. Secondly, long-distance has been a factor in our relationship for a while. We still skype and call each other day, and I know he'd never cheat on me because he's been in a bad experience before, but I sometimes wonder how long this can last. Third, in the back of my mind I know I could find someone with "better" stats in terms of income or education (that's something my parents would complain about if they met him, I can guarantee that for sure)... For me, it hasn't bothered me yet because I really value him for who he is, because he has such a golden heart. But I wonder if when I get older, when there are serious bills to pay, if I would become more concerned with manners like that.I guess my question is, should I continue going with my emotions/feelings and continue dating him, or break up with him sooner knowing that there might be problems in the future? I might regret breaking up with him and hurting him, but at the same time, I haven't dated enough to see if there are more people for me out there.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): You sound very wise to be thinking like this at your age and with a relationship at this stage. It is so much more common for people like you to be in a troubled relationship but unwilling to think that a relationship could be any better.
You seem to be doing the opposite right now. It's not perfect but none of the problems you describe should be breaking you up right now.
A
female
reader, yikes!  +, writes (21 February 2010):
I wouldn't break up with him, you'd never be friends in the same again, and from your description, it should be impossible to find a guy better than him!
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