A
female
age
41-50,
*ms0c0nfused
writes:here's my story...I had a boyfriend 6yrs ago..we've been together for a year and then when he met my family..I kinda left him..meaning I didn't talk to him or see him anymore because my parents didn't like him..he's been calling me but I never had a chance to talk to him anymore because of my parents decision not to see him anymore..I knew he love me so much..he wanted to marry me that time but I got scared..I love him but there was a condition about the "getting married thing" he's inlove with me and he wants to have a papers here in Canada..meaning he wants to be legal here..that's why I kinda back off and I listened to my parents..then I found out I was pregnant..so he didn't know we have a baby together..and after 6yrs he called my house phone again..he was crying he said he thought I'm dead already or something...he said he'd been looking for me for 6yrs...but now he's married he has 3kids with her but he didn't love her at all and she knew that he just married her ecause he needs his papers to be legal so that he can stay in the country...and because he's stilllooking for me all this years...they still live together with the 3 kids but they don't talk much..he said they stop making love way before he found me again..she's been pushing him away because she wants her dad to live with them..she's lazy..she doesn't clean the house even cooks the food for the kids..it's always him who does evrything plus he works early in the morning while his wife is still sleeping for watching tv..talking on the phone..Internet...plus she doesn't have a job...a week ago..they had a fight..she called the police and he got arrested..he was in Jail for 2 days then I bailed him out...an now his wife found out about me and she's been calling my phone like crazy..she's telling me she's " the wife"..and it bothers me big time because I'm his first...I should have been "the wife" If I didn't left him 6yrs ago..now my question is..should I live with him and start a new life with our son..because that's what he wants now..he said he will forget about her but not the kids and he wants to be happy and live with me forever because I'm the only best thing happened to him...I'm waiting for him to say about the DIVORCE stuff because I don't feel good that I live with him in one roof but I'm still the "other woman..the mistress"...I don't wanna be the other woman for the rest of mylfe :(should I ask him about the divorce?or should I stop asking him about her and his past with her because it's obviously he doesn't love her at all he just use er to get the papers here Canada so that he can stay..should I stay..live with him?I don't care about my parents now I'm a grown up woman now..if they don't accept him I'm still gonna live with himI love him..i feel so bad because he been through all this bad experiences with her where he could have been so happy an inlove with me all this years if I didn't leave him before :(please help..I need big advice..I couldn't talk about it with anyone else..so sorry it's a long story..thank u and god bless
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female
reader, ims0c0nfused +, writes (27 March 2010):
ims0c0nfused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis wife knew his situation before they got married..she knew that they get getting married so that he can be legal here..he didn't want to have a baby with her he asked het to take a pill and she lied that she's taking it.. after a month she got pregnant..he's trapped because of the kid..and then he couldn't find me..so after a year she got pregnant again and after that year there goes another baby again...I'm know I'm so dumb..but he's alone now and I don't want him to feel alone and miserable when he knows that I'm just here..that I'm the only one he can count on now...he said to me lasnight that the true thing about the two of us is that we love each other...he knows and he feels that he loves so much..which he didn't feel to his wife all the time they are together....and his sister was telling me that if I only knows what he'd been through to find me I won't gonna believe..his sister knows that he really love me all this years..it's just that it's really messed up everything..I think it's my fault...........thanks for the replies...it helps me think more :)
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (26 March 2010):
You will not like this but I think you are making a bid mistake? He is using you and involving you in this aweful mess. Why has he turned up now when there is s load of baggage in his life.
The Police do not lock you up for 2 days unless it has happened before, which I guess it has!
You need to stand back and put yourself first and think long and hard. You emtions are taking over I think and you may have cause to regret this!
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A
female
reader, yyyy  +, writes (26 March 2010):
I wish someone could shake you for me;
1) You let this guy go because of you parent's disapproval this shows that you did not have strong feelings for him as you claim.Have your parents changed their opinion of him since the last time.
2)You say you feel sorry for him .Actully you should feel soory for the wife because she is being used for citizenship
3)How do you know that this guy is telling the truth about his situation at home.How do you know that he will not do the same thing to you when he gets tired of you
4)He is the luv of you life but why would you settle for so less by being his misstress .If he is the right guy for you let him sort out his problems at home get divorced and then you can have a life with .A life that is not built on shame.In the end you'll find that he will not even leave his wife he is just enjoying having his bread buttered on both sides .
Good Luck and have this in your own terms or else you'll feel so used
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): I wish you could listen to yourself.
1)If you luved him that much you would have never let him go ...What makes you think that when u are get back together you will not face some other challenges where your parents are concerned and brake up again.
2)Why are u feeling sorry for this guy .You should feel sorry for the wife that is supposedly bad for him because she is the victim in all of this.She is being used to get citizenship.
3)If he can talk so badly and cheat on his wife how can you know for sure that he will not do the same to you
4)Besides that why would you settle for so less with a man that is supposedly the luv of your life.
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