A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My sister wants to stay with my husband and I starting next week. Her, her boyfriend and their three children all under the age of 12 want to crash at our place, she says for 4 nights. I said, we could discuss staying if she had secured arrangements for that 4th night. She flipped out, cursed me out over the phone and harassed and insulted me over text messages, accusing me of not trusting her.Thing is, I don't really trust her. She has a history of using and abusing people, borrowing huge amounts of money and not paying it back, etc. She is perpetually broke, has no savings and her boyfriend supports the whole family with a job that can have sporadic pay cheques. They are trying to move to another country and claim to be boarding a plane on the 4th day of their stay, but they have not got tickets yet. I told her she had to buy the plane tickets (or hotel room if that plan changed) before she can move in. She is acting as if it is an outrageous request. My husband and I rent a home from our landlord, who lives across the street. We have no insurance to cover them staying here. We also value our privacy and our routine, and are not used to living with such a large group- 4 adults and 3 kids in a relatively small home, sharing only two bathrooms, etc. My worry is that 4 nights will turn into a week, then a month, etc. It is a valid concern because her family has not yet secured a visa or gone through any of the steps needed to emigrate to this foreign country they are trying to go to. Their move was hastily planned, they let their lease run out on their rental unit and are now scrambling for a home. Additionally, her and her boyfriend have a tendency to stay up late, get drunk, have arguments, etc. We have been on a weekend trip with them before and it was an absolute disaster.What should I do? I don't want her staying here any longer as I worry about the impact on our relationship, as well as my husband and my relationship.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 CMMP,you are so whacked think before you post .
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 July 2013):
I'm wondering why you are so controlling? She can stay for 3 nights but has to have a hotel for the 4th... she can stay but has to have proof that she has plane tickets.... I can't believe the other "aunts" haven't seen right through you like I have.
Does that mean you have to let her stay with you? No, it's your house. But stop being a control freak and either say yes or no! If she's lying about the plane ticket, who cares? Kick her out on the 4th day. If she can stay for 3 days why not 4?
Seriously, I'm glad I have a brother that I can depend on and not someone who seems to enjoy making things difficult.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2013): Don't let her stay as it sounds age plans on staying longer than the 4 days. I know she is you sister but if she uses people& flips out at small things I'd be scared having her& her family living with us. Stand up to her & tell her your landlord won't agree them staying- or whatever, just dont let her stay. It's not your responsibility to house her& her family. She should get a job & stop being a drunk - I know I'm being harsh but you sound like a decent person who will only be dragged down if you let her stay.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2013): You are absolutely right- your gut is warning you. The stay most likely will turn in a living situation. They have no flights or hotel booked. Probably no true intentions of leaving within 4 days. They'll come up with some excuse and then you'll be looking at evicting them which is a lengthy and difficult process, particulately if they are in your house. They could take things also and you won't be able to get anything back as there would be no proof showing what is theirs and yours. Say NO and do not open the door for them.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 July 2013):
I understand family obligations but you already have seen your sister's track record and it sure does't bode well for you. Aunt Bim is exactly right about getting rid of them once they move in. Sometimes you just have to say NO. But if they do come, Maybe you could talk to your landlord, have him/her come over once they show up for their "4 day stay" and tell them the lease is explicit on any long stay visitors.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 July 2013):
 I agree with Auntie BimBim, I would rather look around and PAY for them to stay elsewhere for 4 days.
Having family stay can be a nightmare.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 July 2013):
 Once they move in it could be a lengthy process to move them out again. It might be more cost effective in the long run to pay up front for them to stay somewhere for the four nights.
Good luck with it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2013): "What should I do?"
Say "no" to the rude selfish bee-otch and offer to help her find a hotel SHE can afford.
Moochers like your sister and her boyfriend can only take advantage of you if you let them. Don't let her guilt or intimidate you.
They have given you good reason not to trust them so letting her invite herself and parasite boyfriend into your home will only put you at risk for marital problems and possible eviction. She's not worth it, as her history can attest.
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