A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is just a quick question, but it's been bothering me for a few days.I was out shopping with my mum, and she suggested that I have a small salad for lunch as I am getting 'chunky'. She then proceeded to tell me that I look like a size 12 (When I am in fact a size 8 aus) and that I should lose weight.Up until I was 18, I was a complete stick... now at age 20 I have grown into a womanly shapeI am 5'8 (173cm) and 59kg (130 lb).Should I let her know I offended me, because now I'm thinking that maybe I should lose weight?
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female
reader, R1  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 That's just a mother thing to say, now you are older and she is no longer responsible for looking after you everyday/cooking for you she probably just wants to get her input in. My mother says all sorts of things like this or about other areas of my life. I just smile and nod, and remember she is older than me and won't be around forever...!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 I would contact your doctor and get your doctor's opinion on your weight. It sounds FINE to me.
IF you would like to tell your mom to back off, do so with the backing of the medical profession saying your weight is within healthy parameters and as a adult you are aware of what you should weigh and do not need any health advice from her.
I would also let her know that the topic is NOT open for discussion and should she bring it up again I would say "i told you it was not open for discussion" and get up and leave right then and there.
you will have to train her to treat you like an adult and by leaving when she misbehaves eventually either you will not have to see her or she will learn.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2013): Tell her if you want OP, but a better suggestion is not to take it seriously at all.
You'd know if you were overweight and you're not so why let stupid comments like that bother you?
She's a mother, they always think they know best, they'll always suggest things they think you could improve and they're not always right, and very often sound critical.
OP I understand why women take age or weight comments so badly but I'll never "get" it. To me it's a stupid concept to let benign opinions or comments of others have any effect on my self-esteem. Try to gain a thicker skin about this if you can, it will serve you well. If you know you're not overweight then why the hell listen to someone who says you are?
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A
female
reader, Dayzy +, writes (17 January 2013):
Oh dear! I'm so sorry your mother said that to you. Does she have an eating disorder herself? Is she obsessed with her own weight? Don't let her pass that onto you. Your stats tell me that you are lovely and slim. It may or may not have to tell your mother that she offended you, but please DON'T BELIEVE HER.
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