A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my man for 6 years. He has suffered depression from time to time and in the past he found it hard to be in a committed relationship. Even though we both knew we were together, he insisted on calling us 'friends' but to this day he even says we are together 6 years. My problem is, during the times we were called friends, but practically together, i often went out and got drunk and kissed lots of other guys. Alot of guys he would know because we live in such a small town. I have told him I've done this, but never mentioned he might know these people. I've also kissed strangers in clubs and never spoke to them again and even texted guys i didn't know just to get to know them. My boyfriend hasn't really asked me any questions about it. He tells me to stop everytime I mention I'm feeling bad about the past. There's even some people that pop into my head and can't remember if I did kiss them or not. Should I let it go, or tell my boyfriend even without him asking??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): thanks for our advice. I don't plan on kissing anybody as we are in a proper committed relationship now. But i was wild in my past and have done alot of things I regret, alot of which he knows about. But there have been people I could have kissed and lied to my boyfriend at the time and said I didn't and now I can't remember if I did or not. Am i convincing myself i did things that I didn't do? Or did i actually do them and just blocked them out. I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend about it as he gets angry and cagey about it.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 What would be the point of telling him if he doesn't want to hear? Would it be to benefit him or would it be to help you feel better because of guilt?
If he is that sensitive and he honestly doesn't want to know about it, then don't tell him. On a side note, I'd maybe consider no kissing as many guys from now on to eliminate your problem in the future. Alcohol is an excuse, not a reason to kiss people.
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