Should I let him go or wait?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've known him going on 5 years now, and we are still pretty close for the most part. Anyhow, We briefly dated some years back when I was 22(and a virgin at the time) and he was 21. Well not long after we "officially" started dating, I ended up having to move to another state so we kinda broke things off, so it didn't end bad or anything. We still hung out before I moved and he even said he had feelings for me, but he didn't want to get attached since I was about to leave. Understandable! Well even after I moved we talked often, occasional flirting and so on. I would sometimes visit him when I went home to visit and that went well, when I talked he always looked me in the eyes and he listened to what I have to say and sometimes he would just stare at me. On one visit back home, (my 24th birthday) we hung out went his rehearsal, and then to eat and back to his house. We watched a movie and talked, then he snatched my phone and went thru all my pics and saw some pretty sexy ones I took of myself and he was completely turned on. So that night was our first time having sex with each other. After I returned home we still remained in contact. On another visit(4 months later) we fooled around but didn't have sex. Often times during a visit we didn't have sex, but he would just want me to spend the night with him. Fast forward about 8 months later, I worked up the nerve to tell him that I still had feelings for him a lot and what does he think. He said that he wasn't looking for a sexual relationship because he needed to focus on some things and work on his relationship with God. I totally respected that because I felt the same way. Especially being 400 miles away from him. So when I asked him did he have feelings for me, he said "Let's just stay friends and leave it at that" I was hurt because it didn't answer my question. I eventually stopped talking to him just because it hurt me because I cared. Over a year went by that we didn't speak. Fast forward again to Nov/Dec 2011 we got back in touch and chatted often. Anyway back in March(2012) I went home for a funeral, and we met up because he said when I get to town he wanted to see me. We talked and caught up for some hours. Later that night, he started in being sweet and touchy feely and asking if I had a boyfriend. I told him I didn't and he seemed surprised when I said no and asked why not.I asked him the same, and he's not dating either. I didn't mind the touchy feely, because it had been a year and a half since I had sex(another guy) So of course we did, but then during he says "you know we're no supposed to be doing this?" I'm thinking "Well, its too late now." Of course neither of us stopped. Anyhow, I saw him one more time before I came back home, but we didn't have sex, I went to say bye since I was leaving that next morning, so he asked if I could stay the night. The next morning I dropped him off at church and and on the way, he was saying that he loves this state so much and how could I have moved away. I told him I missed it too and I explained why I moved and that who knows what God has planned later down the road. He was pretty quiet after that. So before he gets out the car we hug and say our goodbyes and he says he hopes to see me again on my next visit (which is next month) then while he's getting out the car he says "And maybe then we can work on you moving back." and walks away. I didn't know what to say, so while driving I just kept thinking about it. What do you think he meant by that? We've talked a few times since I've been back home, but he doesn't contact me as often as I'd like. I usually message him, but why is it always me? I know he misses me because he's said it on more than one occasion, in the past and recently. So I need to know if he still has feelings for me, or am I just a booty call when I'm in town? And if he does has feelings, why not text me every now and then? Also after all this time why do we keep coming back together like this? Is there some potential there? I'm afraid to ask him because of the way it went last time. Someone please help me understand all this

View related questions: booty call, flirt, text

Reply to this Question

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2012):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer