A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I accidentally met a guy a year ago while coping up from a break-up. Neither has the intention to be anything to each other so we were very brutally honest about ourselves.I tell him my problems and my disinterest with meeting men, he tells me he sleeps around. He would even send me pics of the girls to ask my opinion. I explain to him stuff about women, he explains stuff about men. Our relationship is really funny to be honest. Sometimes, he jokes about wanting to meet me in person but I always decline. We even had a huge fight and said goodbyes but he just came back and told me he missed our chat. We use webcam and he calls me sometimes for random stuff. In other words, we know each other well, I know his history, he knows mine.A little later, he revealed to me that he stopped seeing women and that he realized I was right. On the other hand, he said I should listen to his advise not to see my asshole ex boyfriend anymore. This went on for months, on the nights I was alone, he would go online to keep me company.Than a month ago, after a week of not chatting with me, he broke to me the good news that he met this amazing girl and that he found himself a girlfriend. I was so happy for him. He sent me her pic and introduced me to her when he went online at her house. Then around 2 weeks after that, he called me to say he was doing a night shift at work and I told him I was at a bar with my best friend. Half an hour later, he said he was on the bus and on the way to see me. Travel time from his city to mine is 2 hours. I was speechless. And thats when we met in person for the first time.Now here's the problem, after that meeting, he keeps on coming to see me every week end. I have to admit, we became close instantly and i regret that I didn't agree to meet him before when he was free. I think I am in love with him.I know he has a gf. I feel so guilty that I told him he must choose her as she lives closer to him. He wont stop coming here. To be honest, we slept together already, I am a fool but I did that coz I think thats what he wants from me and asked him to just go back to his old life but now he tells me he loves me and he would leave his gf for me. He said, he knew me first before her. I don't know what to do. He acts like we have a relationship, he checks my phone to see whoever contacts me and to make sure my ex hadn't called. He would give me his phone the whole time as he said I needed to know also who contacts him. I don't know why his gf wont call or text. All text were from his family or friends. Can anyone give me advice? Should I let him go back to his girlfriend or tell him to officially break up with her. I feel like he is making a mistake with me although I think I love him too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): Why do you want to push him away? Are you afraid that he may, in fact, love you?
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Just tell him if he really loves you then move out of his town, find a job here and then move in with you, NOW. Also say I want to get married next year and have 3 kids with you. Or else, just forget it. This is going to push him away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello,Thanks for taking the time to read my post, girls. Well, i did meet his gf on cam so she can't be fictional. And during the time when he came to the bar to meet me, the girl would text him and he would sit by my side for both of us to read her message together. Imagine that kind of friendship with these guy.Anyway, just today, we chatted online and I was planning to tell him what's on my mind. I decided I would let him go. I cannot stand for him to come see me every week end, 2 hours is too much to sit on the bus just to see me. One day he will grow tired of this routine. Second, I feel he will be very close to temptation knowing his history and I will be hurt later.Before I could start the discussion, he said he already booked a place to stay for the weekend. I asked him frankly, why do you have to come here? You got what you want already. Don't travel here, don't spend your cash in those hotels, don't bring me gifts, stop doing it. He said if that's all he wants, he can just go back to his gf for these things. But since he met me, he has not touched her. He is in love with me and he misses me everyday and all those travelling is like 2 minutes only. And all the money spent is worth it. He is always looking forward to see me in the weekend.Now I am more confused. I don't want to believe him but I am believing him. I am now back to whether to let him go or to ask him to let his gf go.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 July 2010):
He had always been trying to get in your pants but nothing worked until he told you he had a girlfriend, then you fell into this trap of trying to compete for him. Whether the pictures really tell you that the girlfriend is real or not, you are wanting something you can't have. You want to turn him into a good boy. You also like the idea that he can't refuse you even though he has a girlfriend, but to make him break up with her is the highest victory. He knows this. You already slept with him so you will be vulnerable for a second time, third time, or until you can't stand being the other woman. Sometimes it's not the person you are in love with, but the challenge and the thrill of the chase. Besides his glorious history with women, how much do you really know about each other. What other interests do you share?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): You love him.He loves you.Why on earth are you rejecting him? He WANTS to be with you! Yes, tell him to break up with the other girl so the two of you can have a proper relationship.
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