A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have recently started having feelings for an old friend. I have liked her in the past, quite intensly though I don't know if it was lust or love. She is the little sister of my best friend, which is why we never ended up dating in the past, though we have slept together a few times. I have had girlfriends since her who I have loved, and when things are going well with them I rarely think of her, especially as I am at university so rarely see her or her brother.Everytime I see her in person however I get all these emotions again, whether I am with a girl at the time or not. I crave her attention when she is around and get really disappointed if she leaves the room.The big problem is I have a girlfriend currently. We have been dating for 4 years now, though I have not been happy for over a year now as we argue a lot. I used to really love my girlfriend, but I am not sure that I do anymore. There are times we get on really well and I am happy enough usually and only have doubts when we argue, but lately I just can't get my old friend out of my mind. I have spent the last few nights talking to her for hours on the internet and have the feeling that although she has a boyfriend currently too, that things may end with him soon and she would be available. I have told her how I feel and she admitted she felt for me too, saying that she used to really love me and still has feelings for me now but has tried to get over me in the past.We have left things by saying that we will see what happens with our current partners, as there are times whenwe both love them still, but if things do end then we would have a "serious talk" (her words). Ever since I told her how I felt however I am almost obsessed with her. I can't get her out my mind even when I am with my current girlfriend, and get so excited whenever I see her on the internet now.I just don't know what to do, currently I feel like I could almost just leave my current girlfriend just to try and be with this other girl, but that would mean throwing the last 4 years down the toilet.Does this mean I have stopped loving my current girlfriend? And do I love the old friend? What should I do?
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best friend, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, the internet, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, YeahYeah +, writes (10 January 2009):
What happened then? Did you stay with the girlfriend of 4 years or end up going for it with the old friend????
What do you think of your choice?
I'm sort of in the same boat only difference is that the girl is a new friend not an old friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): i disagree, just because 2 ppl turn out 2 argue a lot, doesn't mean u will argue with every1 u date! there is a difference between the odd bicker and arguement here and there and arguing to the extent where you are unhappy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): I dont want to be rude but you dont deserve your girlfriend. Be a man and tell her the truth. If you no longer love the girl have some respect and end it now rather then later. The other girl as nice as she is will never treat you the way your current does. If she is playing these games now, chances are she will repeat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Seriously, you two suck. Dump your current gf & stop her fantasy land. Let her find someone who will love her regardless of arguments.
Go get with that one girl you're talking about since you want her so bad & you'll see that she'll eventually argue with you just the same.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. You'll find that out on your own.
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