A
female
age
41-50,
*dizi
writes:I need advice as to whether it is a good decision to leave my marriage:i have been married for 6+ years and on my first year my hubby hit me and again on the second year with no apology on both cases and even now when we talk about the issue i can sense to him its justified.it is beginning to affect me so much that i have lost interest in our relationship. i have also cought him cheating a few times on emails and sms's. i have finally decided that he doesnt really love me and i deserve and am worth much more as i dont see him changing for better anytime soon and i am not willing to wait for him to leave his life the way he wants and while i cant. i am not really sure if leaving would be agood idea as i have 2 boys who love him so much and he loves them back, would i be putting them at a disadvantage and being selfish to them if i leave? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ndizi +, writes (28 January 2011):
ndizi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone for your advices i really feel terrible and to make things worse he hasntbeen working for the past 3 years i am the one supporting the whole house. i have a great job with great future prospects but my personal life is mess. i am praying for courage to do the right thing and hopefully i will be happy with my decisions. thanks again!!!
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Hi!
Hope ur feeling better!
I am very sorry to read ur story. Made me so angry. Ur a young woman. Still have so much life ahead.
Ur husband doesn't deserve u at all. I wish u stayed away from him the 1st time he put his hands on u..
I know you've been married for a long time, you're attached to ur husband, its not love.. Believe me.. I know u have 2 beautiful boys, right now ur hurt, weak. Get a divorce, child support.. Take care of urself, be strong, u need to be happy to be a good mother.
You deserve to be happy, love urself, life.. U have one chance on life, do what's best for u & ur 2 boys.. They also deserve to be happy, have a happy life.. This also affect ur boys, hurts them also. I am afraid they'll grow up seeing ur husband behavior, how he treats u, & the boys will grow up thinking its ok to lay hands on women.
Pls, this is very bad, very serious. Think of ur future.. U deserve better..
Not only cheating, physical abuse, its too much..
Like I said ur still very young... Try to work things out w/ur husband. Things need to change, but if he refuses then get a divorce.
After ur decision take time for urself.. Exercise, make urself look beautiful, wear nice close, don't be afraid, maybe go back to school, get a job & find someone that deserve u & ur 2 boys.. They're the most important thing in the world..
Also don't think ur alone, now days men are just stupid, women are too available & desperate. Men & women are like dogs, have no class or morals..
U can be successful happy w/out him.. One day at a time...
Best wishes & good luck!!!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 This choice would not be selfish at all. Your sons need a better father and you need a better husband. You are the one who is suffering, it does not matter whether or not your boys love him because YOU have seen the darkness he is capable of and there is always the risk of your sons growing up to be like him if something is not done. Leave him.
I hope that helps.
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