A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my gf moved in 6 months ago. I cant walk through my garage cuz she hasnt unpacked, its full of boxes. Ive asked her many times to put the stuff away. She refuses to get a sitter for her kid. We havent gone out in 6 months no lie. I suggest things all the time and she says no. She has become very jealous too. I saw a girl i once dated in a store, i said hi politely and my gf freaked out. She works with her baby daddt and sees him almost daily but im not jealous. In addition her living expenses are 25% of what they were prior to her moving in, yet she refuses to help with home repairs...she says "im not putting money into a house i dont own" what little rent she pays gets spend on taking her and her kid out to dinner plus the added cost of her living here. I spent 5 hours fixing her car the other day, saving her 800 bucks, and she didnt even thank me. In face i had to make dinner when i was done.Should i kick her out? How? Ive never done that before
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2015): I am landlord and its tough sometimes deciding whats fair and what isn't.
I wouldn't ask her for repairs unless it is a direct result of her breaking it and not because of general wear and tear.
You fixing her car and her not helping out, maybe she was busy and she wasn't able to sort dinner out if not that's a bit unfair.
My gf gets very jealous but its because of her own insecurities and I have had chats on numerous times that she cant be doing that. Its crazy.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 March 2015):
 Can she afford a sitter for her kid? Are you paying for the sitter for her kid?
Do you have room for all the contents of the boxes? Why not make it a party?
"Unpack and let go!" Ask all your mutual friends to help out!
If you are unhappy with the financial contributions she's making to the household then it would be fair to ask her to move out so that you can find a tenant who can afford the rental you offer. If you can't find such a tenant then perhaps you have an unrealistic expectation as to the value of your rental property.
You obviously are unhappy with the situation.
So have you tried talking to her? *she asks hopefully*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2015): I don't understand how is girfriend bad? And how is the girfriend takes advantage of OP??? She pays the rent they agreed on. she doesn't want to pay for repairs, how dare he asks her. I think that the OP takes advantage of his girfriend, or at least tries to. If she pays you rent, you are her LANDLORD, You are TOTALLY responsible for all repairs.
You can't ask your tenant which she is to repair the house YOU own!!
That's not very nice of you to kick her our out now. She probably had to terminate her lease in another place where she lived before. I think you need to talk , if you don't love her then you guys need to separate.
And you need to tell her how you feel. May be she will be happy to find her own place place after she lived with you.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (20 March 2015):
Dear OP,
You've only told us one side of the story, and I wonder if your gf would tell us the same.
It sounds like you haven't been setting enough rules and boundaries. And if you're still always giving in to any wish of hers. For instance, the other day.. you made her dinner? After repairing her car? You say you had to - no! Nobody can be "forced" to make dinner, unless you have a gun pointed at you. You chose to make dinner, even though you were tired and angry and found it unfair. Why? Because you're too scared of conflicts, I suppose.
Since you're not someone that seems to like a big fight, maybe go about this gradually. Maybe your girlfriend is also dissatisfied with the whole situation and all you need to do is to refuse doing those things you find unfair. And stop faking to be okay with things that annoy you.
And why are you not jealous when the ex is still so much in the picture? And your girlfriend hasn't even unpacked her things after 6 months? Or gone out with you? Does this sound as if she's over him?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 March 2015):
 At this point she's only been living there six months, so I would contact an attorney, ASAP, just to find out exactly what you're legal rights and obligations are.
Right now she's got it made and she probably won't take too kindly to having that taken away from her, so I would change the passwords and security questions to all of your accounts and secure any valuables (photos, important/official documents etc). Don't give her a chance to destroy your things or empty your bank account before she goes.
When you have your ducks in a row, break up with her and toss her out. If she's not good enough to live with then there is no point in even dating her.
She might handle this all like a mature adult, but best to be prepared in case she doesn't.
In the meantime, stop treating her and her child to dinner out and other outings.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 March 2015):
 My guess is you two didn't really have a sit down and talk before she moved in? No ground rules? No budget? No diving chores?
First of all:
I don't see a problem with HER not paying for repairs on YOUR house.
Second of all:
Does she clean/cook? As in provide a "service" or chore that is not factored in monetarily wise?
Thirdly:
You say that the little money she DOES pay in rent is spend on going out to dinner. Um why? Can't either of you COOK for the lot of you?
It was NICE of you to fix her car, and she SHOULD not take your work for granted. She should have at least thanked you.
I think THIS is a case where the IDEA of living together was MUCH better than reality. You (both) thought... it would be a good idea, but as it has turned out, it's NOT (at least not from your perspective).
And yes, like WhenCowsAttack mention you may NOT be able to "kick her out". Since YOUR house is NOW her legal residence (she gets her mail there) you MIGHT have to get an eviction notice through the courthouse.
An I think you can pretty much consider the relationship over.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 March 2015):
Sounds like she is using you and I believe that you should let her know that she needs to leave and set a date. Make it fair, at least 30 days because she does have a child.
Be prepared for backlash! She may cry, scream, and refuse to leave. Unfortunately if that is the case you will have to legally evict her through the courts as she has paid rent and could be classified as a tenant.
Be calm, try not to play into any fights, and stand your ground- this could be a long, drawn out process. Good luck.
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