A
female
age
30-35,
*hoatic_angel
writes: Okay; me and my ex were together for just under 4 years, we broke up 2 months ago. We're both adults ( I'm 22 and he's 23) we lived together for 2 years. We had a very loving relationship, and still love each other; however, due to many things like my insecurity about his ex considering we started talking while he and his ex were breaking up and I didn't know anything about it, the loss of two babies due to problem that runs in my family, and the fact that I got too close to a male friend of mine and kissed him. I told him immediately after the fact I felt horrible for it and I thought we'd get past it considering he flirted with his ex and etc point is I know we both we're childish and when we broke up. We broke up a couple months after all the drama I of course did all the wrong things and some of the right ones. We're talking and he occasionally visits but he was kinda upset that I wouldn't allow my little brother to see him because and as he says " He's gone from being my husband to a tool" I told him he made that decision and when he's ready to change his title let me know. The reason I didn't allow him to see my baby brother is because when we broke up He was really hurt by it, it's like he tried to latch on to anything that was still there that was my ex he came one day to me so happy saying he learned to spell my ex's name because he found a name tag he left and one night he came in so depressed and hid under the covers to tell me he missed him and ask when was he coming back. Me and my ex where kind of like surrogate parents for my little brother and it took a lot of talks to my little brother to get him okay with the fact that we're not together and I'm okay if I get hurt again but not him. Anyways, we were talking and my basic understanding is that he felt as though we were going in different directions and that he feels that I technically cheated on him, he even jokingly said maybe I should get another bf and cheat on a new guy with him to which I responded I couldn't think that cheaply of him. He keeps talking about how much better we're doing outside of each other which is funny because I started planning these "changes" before we broke up. I went to see him the other day and nearly fainted because I hadn't been well lately; I attempted to leave because I was embarrassed to be so "weak" in front of him; but he was hurt that I didn't want to be weak in front of him. Anyway to get him to chill I laid down and when I woke found out I'd be stuck there due to the blizzard. (lol ironic) he was a gentleman as always and we just did what we normally . this morning I woke and he was holding me He even suggested we go for an ice cream "date" this weekend. I realize that I hurt him, we hurt each other; but I really want to try to work things out between us. I just don't know if I'm being strung along till he's finally satisfied in some weird twisted way and if I should move on or if I should keep going with whats happening now it's hard to go from being so close to so unsure; scary even so I guess I'm asking should I just move on or keep trying all the while knowing there's a chance I'll get hurt?
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broke up, cheap, depressed, flirt, his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): If he was the one to break up with you I would move on because you are probably stretching out the inevitable. Point blank ask him what his intent is and if he stays vague I would consider it over. Did he cheat on you or did he get with you by cheating? Are you sure there is no one else in the picture? He won't treat you any different than his last exes is what I am saying.
A
female
reader, choatic_angel +, writes (5 February 2011):
choatic_angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell I told him last month (in an attempt at getting the upper hand) "I realize that with everything going on in my life (job got fire bombed, our breakup, moving to a new house,etc) that I wasn't ready for a relationship and that this would be the year I realize who's actually there for me for real and etc ( yea I was completely full of crap but at the time I believed myself too) He's not about to go against something I said so strongly like that (ugh I hate myself because the funny thing about it is that he was considering us actually getting back together but he doesn't want to rush things especially if I feel the way I said I felt. so yea I'm conflicted. He sent me a note today thought about how he cares and he wanted to thank me for being there and dealing with him and how he loves the many adventures we had and how I'm the "best" and he signed it "yah boy" so I'm like ugh confused much... HELP
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): Does he want to get back together and did he tell you that? I think you have no choice but to move on if he hasn't and he may think he has a chance of getting you as a friend with benefits but not a real relationship so I would find out.
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