A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Me and my ex-girlfriend were going out for 6 yrs. We were long distance for most of that time. Things were real good for both of us until last year. I got out of the military and she was begging me to move to her. I visited her alot but only on weekends. I know she was miserable and didn't have too many friends, so me not being there with her was tough on her. She gave date after date to move down but i dragged my feet till the end. I guess i was afraid to commit. After the last date, she said we needed space to figure things out. 3 weeks later she broke up with me. A week after she broke up with me i moved down to her city. She said a little too late. She says she still loves me and can't picture her future without me in it but for now she needs to be single. When i try to start things with her she says she has has no attraction to me right now. She lost her attraction to me and doesn't know how to get it back. She wants those feelings back for me, but not now. She wants us both to find ourselves and have lives outside or each other before we get back together. Thats fine and all, but i don't understand how she can lose that attraction for me like that but still want to have a future with me. She still says she loves me, i believe her, we've always been truthful. She got sick last week and i took care of her. She says she was glad i was here. But after she got better, she made it clear things are still the same. I am where she was last year. She was waiting for me to propose but i wasn't ready. Now i am ready and she's not, but its very different situations. Can she really lose those feelings for me yet want to get them back later on. Am i a fool for still moving to her and just waiting for her to come back to me. Its only been a month but i am going crazy. I want her back soo bad and it hurts not being able to do anything about it. She tells me to have faith because she does, but how can I when i know that when she looks at me she doesn't "want" me. Should i keep the faith and continue waiting or figure out how to cut my losses. Help me.
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (13 February 2007):
Well, it seems like she has waited a long time for you to be ready. You dragged your feet, now let her drag hers. You DONT need to get bloody married for goodness sake. She is most likely still in love with and attracted to you. But you have left her for so long just waiting for you, perhaps she is secretly unsure how you truely feel for her. Personally if i was her i would have dumped you ages ago. Enless your with someone else (witch i am thinking your NOT) then there is no harm in just waiting. Leaveing her alone to do what she wants.
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