A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry but I don't know how to do this short.I met this girl just about 2 years ago. She had a boyfriend back then. meanwhile we was hanging out together (just as friends). We lost contact for about 4-5 months, but is back in contact now. She dropped her boyfriend and is single now. I told her 3 weeks ago that I was abosuluty crazy about her among alot of other things. She told her she had feelings for me too and that she had hoped for such a message for some time. She even called me "the right guy". She asked me if we could take it slow, and gave me many mixed signals for 2 weeks, it drove me nuts.I haven't been in a relationship for 6 years, and our "start conversation" kick-started alot of feelings that I had a hard time to control/Handle. I was very fusterated. She said she liked me, but it was "on/off". She never contacts me (still), back 2 years ago she told me that her boyfriend was very fusterated with the same issue, and that he had demanded her to contact him more. Which made her come knocking at my door almost pulling her hair.But none the less she gave me many mixed signals I couldnt read.I told her I needed a week to sort out my feelings and get in contact with myself. And that week passed 2 days ago. So I called her yesterday and told her that, I had the feeling that something was in the way. And I asked her if she couldn't give me an honest answer, we're friends and I would rather want the truth so that i dont have to puzzle with these things in my head. What she said made perfect sense. Whent something like this - "I've been in relationships ever sinse I got a teenager. I'm really devided, cause I do like you alot and I really wanna try it out. But I cant focus on myself when in a relationship, I always think us. And for once I think I wanna do something for myself".What to say?.. I like her, in many ways. And honestly, to me it sounds like a good idea for her to take some time and maybe figgure out new things about herself. So I told her that i tought it was a good idea. Then I asked her if I should put my feelings away, and she replied that would maybe be the best idea.My issue is right now, I like her I really do. And it dosn't bother me that she wants some time alone to hang out with her family and try out the single life. But I'm tired of my head popping up with new questions all of the time, and i don't wanna bother her with such questions anymore for now. I don't think that is what she needs.But what do you think? As I've said I haven't been in a relationship for many years. Should I try put away my feelings for good or should I keep her in the back of my mind, play it cool and be patient. Or a third thing? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): Just play it as a friend as hard as it might be let her know you value her as a friend first
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