A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:help! i'm not sure what to do.I've been in a relationship now for 3-4 years with my kids' dad. Right now i cant even look him in the eye. here goes. I am a stay at home mom. He works night shift. when he gets home from work in the morning, he takes the dog out for a walk, and then takes our daughter (my daughter from previous) to school. He comes home and goes into bed. I then am left to care for our 3 and 2 year olds. I do everything. Bath them, iron clothes get them dressed, feed them, play with them, take to nursery, pick up from school and nursery etc....including all of the housework. He gets up at around 5ish. Comes into the living room and turns sports tv on. Drinks his coffee. Sits around till he goes to work again. I'm really starting to feel like nothing but a nanny, maid, and someone the have sex with when he's horny. sometimes i can't stand him touching me. He throws his dirty clothes on the floor, leaves his dishes, as well as his mess. He smokes in the bedroom and falls asleep with the ashtray on the bed all the time and it spills all over the sheets. he never takes the garbage out. and if anything needs fixed well i have to do it myself. I feel that i give so much to this household. I am with these kids 16 hours a day 7 days a week. he can't even watch the kids properly. has never not once taken the kids to the park. if he does take them out its to his relatives house where the women run after them.he never wants to go out. never makes me laugh anymore. I just feel trapped. oh yea. he's 9 years younger than me. i'm at the end of my tether. i've told him i don't know how many times he needs to do more. i've pleaded with him to get a day job. He just says i know i know but never really tries. i feel like maybe i've made a mistake. maybe i should tell him to just go and be a slob somewhere else. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm miserable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for replying. I sat down with him this morning and told him how i am feeling. He seemed to be very sorry as he apologized profusely. I'm going to go ahead and let things go for a while. But i totally agree that if this keeps up i will definately need to ask him to leave. I completely agree with you. thanks again. xx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 you have told him time and time again that he needs to change but he is not listening properly as he knows they are just empty threats. you cant live your life this way. if your unhappy your children will pick up on this no matter how hard you put a face on. you need to sit him down and tell him he has a month to change get a babysitter once a week and go out as a couple make time for each other, have family days out, ask him to help you around the house, and to play with the children. if he doesnt change after a month then you have to leave him. tell him that he has to go somewere else to live as you cannot put urself and the children through this anymore. he needs to no how down in the dumps you are. i hope he changes for you good luck.
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