A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really really really want to have sex with a girl right now. I'm starting to get older and still am a virgin. Sorry if this sounds messed up or anything but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm just a regular quiet and shy guy around girls. You've probably seen or know a lot of them.There's a really beautiful girl I know who was a friend, but we are barely around each other now that she went to a different school. She was exactly what I find beautiful in women, and I'm really picky. I always though of her as being way out of my league, because she was perfect, but it seemed like she never had a boyfriend. I don't know if she liked me or not, but in sometimes I thought she hinted it. She always was different and friendly towards me. I'm too "nice" of a guy though, and I don't think she could've ever known what I was thinking. Last time I saw her she was dressed up for a special occasion and she looked so beautiful. All I could think about was how much I wanted to grab her and have sex with her right there, no matter how insanely inappropriate it would be with parents around. Instead we just talked for a while like we normally do, even though my mind was far out of it.It's funny though because I'm not religious, but I was brought up religious. I think in the eyes of religion I'm probably sinning pretty badly but I can't help it.Sorry for rambling, but I guess my question is would girls (or a particular girl) be shocked if I was just completely straight forward and told them what I was thinking? I don't know why I never tell the girls I admire that I think they are beautiful. I think maybe it's because I know girls are really psychological about stuff, and once they know you like them they think of you differently and might not actually like you back. On the other hand, by not ever telling them, it might make them like you more or something.I don't know if I'm just being stupid or not. Sometimes I think that even if there was a 1% chance she would say yes, I should just go after what I want because it might be amazing. But I can't stop my mind which is always telling me to not make mistakes and try to increase my odds and play it safe. Is it wrong to blatantly ask a girl to have sex with you? Why do we have to go through this painful struggle and hide our true intentions? Why is it so inappropriate to say i want to have sex with you? If it's the truth is it really that bad?In the end, I usually end up just being single, and never saying anything. I've been single for too long.
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female
reader, pebble  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 You can't just tell her that you want to have sex with her - that'll get you nothing but a slap in the face and a dodgy reputation. It's completely inappropriate and not what any girl wants to hear.
"Will you have sex with me please?"
The only girls you're going to attract are the slutty, easy ones that'll give you chlamydia.
If she is so amazing then it should be about much more than sex. Ask her on a date, wine her and dine her, make her feel special. But DON'T do it all just because you want to have sex with her. Do it because you have feelings for her and think that your relationship could be something special. The sex will come later.
Girls can smell a guy who wants to use them for sex a mile off, nice girls don't deserve to be used.
Good luck :)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (25 May 2009):
 You will not get anywhere with this girl if you just ask her to have sex with you! There are certain types of girls who are into that, but most of them will be doing the approaching.
If this girl is so amazing, why don't you ask her to go out with you on a date? Why don't you start up a relationship, or at least see if she'd like to get to know you? A one night stand is not anywhere NEAR as satisfying as regular ongoing sex. Especially for you, a virgin, who has a lot to learn - you need a girl who is going to stick around to give you plenty of lessons. And that girl is going to be more happy to be with you if she's in a relationship.
It's not "wrong" to blatantly ask a girl to have sex with you. It's just tacky. I'll be honest, if a guy asked me straight out to do him, I would probably slap him across the face. How dare someone think that I'm that cheap and easy? I would assume that he thought I was some sort of slut to just sleep with a guy because he asked.
Put the effort in and it'll be much more satisfying (and much more likely to end up in bed).
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