A
male
age
36-40,
*cottyA
writes:Hi,I was currently going out with this girl who i met on holiday. This was about 4 month ago, we got on like two peas in a pod from day one. After the holiday was over we met up and soon after started going out with each other. After a few months of me going up to see her and stuff she came to me one day and broke the message that she was pregnant with my child.A few month passed and we started to argue, i know it doesn't mean anything but we constantly argued about stupid stuff.The main problem is that i broke up with her the other day because i was sick of the arguing we did. We then got back together after talking and solving our problems. Then a few days later i broke up with her again because i caught her with her ex-boyfriend. I know it doesn't sound much and i really don't want to go into detail about it but when we first started seeing each other he used to hit her and stalk her out of jealousy.The reason for the second break was because i caught her with him they were just walking down the street but that wasn't the point it was the fact that after everything he had done to her she was still talking to him.Well after a day or two i wanted her back so bad because i love her that much and she loved me the same we both didn't want to break up but at the end of the day she was sick me finishing her, which is understandable.I've tried speaking to her and i've showed my emotions deeply to her but it's like she doesn't care. I've even wrote her letters and posted them by hand. but at the moment she says she needs time to think and that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but she said the worst thing anyone can ever say when you break up, which was "It's Me Not You".Shes also told me not to ring her and stuff like that.I just want to know what i should do in this situation should i try to keep in contact or just leave her be..?But at the moment shes been going out clubbing and stuff but shes been going with her ex-boyfriend and she just wont tell me were i stand with her, the only answer i get when i ask is "I Dunno".I'm just puzzled on what to do or say to her its like everything i say just makes it worst or makes her more annoyed.I'm just so love sick at the moment and i've really realised how much i truly love her and whenever i think about her my heart drops.What should i do ? please help
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 What's up with the child? If indeed she is pregnant with your child then you are connected to her. You shouldn't be so concerned about your feelings here but how about some consideration for what she is likely going through being pregnant. She is on an emotional merry go round.
She needs to decide whether or not to keep the baby and what level of participation she wants from the father. She should be taking care of herself, not clubbing-unless she's drinking club soda.
Depending on the situation, you should make what is going to happen to the child your first priority. If you can not do that and you are hell bent on meeting your needs then she is getting a message that you are not mature enough to be in her life as the child's father.
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