A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My x boyfriend and i dated eachother for 4 years and we have a child together. When i broke up with him it was just to scare him into shape you knowhelp around the house work more and pay more attention to me. Well since than wehave been on and off. Now he has a girlfriend and its getting pretty serious. We talk everyday he tells me he loves me he tells me we will eventually work it out. So do I just stick with and hope for the best or try to move on and if so how?
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broke up, has a girlfriend, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dezzie813 +, writes (26 February 2008):
Hi i wanted to give you a little advice on this subject because I am in the same situation (except for without a kid) i think that your question is sort of stupid to ask in a way because it doesnt matter what any of us say it matters on how you feel about the situation. If he is wanted enough for you to actually consider the fact of waiting then he is pretty damn special. plus seens to the fact you have a kid you not only just want to be happy yourself but you want your kid to know his dad so maybe instead of waiting talk to him tell him how you feel and see what he thinks too. Theres a chance you wont even have to wait for him if you do that and also whatever he says will actually decide the answer to this question for you. In order to have a healthy and happy relationship you need to both aggree. sometimes it hurts to know the other persons feelings but sometimes its your only option that will actually let you know what you want in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I'm sorry honey, but how can he have a girlfriend and say he loves YOU? I know you have his child, but still... This just proves that he's not faithful to his current girlfriend, so how could you prove he'd be faithful to you?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Since he has a g/f , you have two options.
You can wait till his new g/f dumps him because he will commit the same mistakes or he has not learned from his mistakes.
or
You can move on with your life and leave him by the wayside. Go out and meet other men and keep your door open .Don't hang on to the old .Give others a chance.
A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a first step.....
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A
female
reader, babeej +, writes (11 February 2008):
honestly, if your using the whole "breaking up to make guilt" situation then you took the chance. men are very straight forward. If you break up with them, chances are that they are going to let their pride take over. Breaking up should never be used as blackmail. if you were in his shoes, wouldnt you just run? I have a five year old also, and my ex and i were together for 7 years before we came to understand that you should stay together because of the baby. i guess what im trying to say without being hurtful is that instead of breaking up with him to get him to realize his mistakes and help, you should have taken some needed steps first. like talking to him about how you feel, going to counseling, taking a small break from each other. Once you break up with someone, child or not, you severe the ability to be with that person and in a way talk to a control the actions of that person. for example asking them to go to counseling because being in a relationship means being obligated to that person and loving that person and making that person feel happy and loved. once you broke up, he had no further obligations toward you other than your child. i would have tried one last chance to talk about it before you used threats and blackmail.
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