A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been best friends with a girl for 12 years (we are both 26 and I'm male).We have always been close and despite what people thought, we always said we were just "best friends". During this time I was not aware she was suffering from very low self esteem, she always appeared confident but last year it all came out how much she hated herself, and she is now on anti-depressants.I realised last year she is much more than a friend to me and I told her I loved her and she could not believe it. How could anyone love her? She is ugly and hates herself when she looks in the mirror (her words). Note she has not had a boyfriend before or at least not a decent one who has stuck around!Many people have said we are basically dating but the title has not clicked into place, and since last year I have started holding hands with her when we are out (which she is perfectly comfortable to do - I was so scared the first time I did it!!), and I have kissed her face, hugged her, walked with my arm round her, all the little physical things which she always appears to like. She said she loves me and I am the closest person to her and I believe that.My question is, should I just hold her and go for it and kiss her on the lips? Everyone is telling me I should because I can give her all the compliments in the world but she doesn't believe them, and yet she seems so comfortable with the little kisses and hand holding...so should I just go for it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): Absolutely go for it! It sounds like you are ready. Just don't be offended if she gets scared and pulls away. It likely isn't that she didn't like it, but that she's surprised and confused.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 I'd go for it. Be prepared for a bit of a resettling period with her, as she may be surprised. Just be patient and don't push too hard at first.
Let us know how you get on!
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A
female
reader, lwstudent +, writes (27 April 2010):
yes!! go for it! u sound like an amazing guy and she sounds like a lovely girl and i really hope this goes well for u.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Definately! She would not be holding hands and letting you kiss he cheeks or whatever if she was likely to object to the real deal.
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