A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok well I have just came out of my first proper relation ship it was nearly a year long. She ended it because she doesn't think we are compatible but we both loved each other and she would talk about marriage and kids a fair bit. I still want to be with her but she doesn't think it will work so i don't know what to do. I don't think i can deal with another full on relationship and i'm not a bad looking guy with no money problems so should i just go have some fun with out getting into a serious relationship? Should I just go have fun without getting in a relationship??
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, ive sat and thought about what to do for a few days and decided not to sleep around its just not me. Guess il just have to get used to single lifew until i meet some one else. Thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers for all the advice, ive sat and thought about what to do for a few days. Ive decided not to sleep around its just not me. Im just gona get used to single life and if i meet some one thats single and intreses me then il get to know them at bit better. thanks anyway :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I think what you mean..is casual SEX..fun is going to the beach, watching a film, meeting up with friends, sno-boarding, skiing..If people aren't ready emotionally for the whole thing, which is what ' casual sex ' is about.
Disconnecting emotions from the physical act, is neither healthy long-term, mature or dignified. Casual sex without bonding with someone, may as you call it, be FUN...but along the way some get involved emotionally, some get hurt as they can't handle the 'commodity tag' that goes with casual sex.
I wrote about this very thing in my book - namely the TOXIC DATER. Although one readers advice is that you tell women first this is what you're looking for, ( the art of wooing eh) that there are many women up for casual sex..a growing society of people who are unable to function emotionally, avoiding the real issues of why they are not a complete package. And believe they do not want, or need to bring the physical and emotional together.
And your question only goes to prove exactly what I'm saying, you clearly LOVE someone, ideally you would be married to her, so you are not over this person, or ready for another relationship, sexually or otherwise. You are what is commonly known as emotionally unavailable. If you are a sensitive person, and my feeling is that you probably are, this separating of feelings from sex, rarely works, without that close inner bond that true affection brings, casual sex is nothing more than a mechanical act, that burns out very quickly, and often leaves us wanting, as it never satisfies ultimately and so the line of casual bed mates continue, until at long last we bring the two together, and we GIVE and receive LOVE.
I hope whatever you decide to do, you find what you're looking for..good luck!
Jilly x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Why not? Just make sure you don't lead any girls on or use them, there's plenty around up for casual fun, make sure you're upfront with them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Why not? Just make sure you don't lead any girls on or use them, there's plenty around up for casual fun, make sure you're upfront with them.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Sure! Go ahead and have some fun! You're single now, so the sky's the limit. Just make sure you do it under correct pretenses (i.e. not telling the girl you want more than casual fun), and prectice SAFE SEX! Casual encounters are RISKY encounters. You'll find girls out there who want casual sex like you do. NEVER trust a girl who says she's on birth control. Condoms 100%.
I know you're hurt, and want to have some casual fun to kinda equalize yourself to get away from the hurt. Don't be afraid when the time comes to love a girl again. Don't let the past penalize your future. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Yes. If it's over and the fat lady has sang. Move along. Go have a blast, it's what guys your age do in the aftermath. So what're you waiting for?
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