A
male
age
36-40,
*aybe i'm crazzy!?
writes:Okay this is to do with my ex, we weren't together an incredibly long time, 5 months. We used to get on so well, same interests etc (music likes, tv shows, film genres), then she became confused about what she wanted. I was kinda expecting it by the way she had been acting recently, it was strange it was like I had done something wrong which I hadn't. So she tells me that shes not sure she wants a relationship at the moment, but she really likes me. So I say okay i'll give you the space and time you want, to truly find out what you want, I tell her that we should maybe stop texting for a while so she gets space away from me. Her response to that was "Oh so now I can't text you anymore?" and "Okay then be happy we just won't text anymore", in truth I did want to text her but I felt that way she would get the required time away from me and would also realize what she has lost.Now roughly 2 months later, she starts texting me again saying "I miss you" and asking me to come see her when shes in town, so I went to see her and she looked absolutely stunning and still as bubbly as ever. I didn't stay out long, so we didn't chat much which is unfortunate. But she did kiss me on the lips, obviously this could be just to show affection and friendship but would it be normal to kiss and ex there? She text me later that evening that she was thinking that she missed me when we were chatting, and she went on to say "its good that we are cool". I text her back basically saying it was nice seeing her aswell. A bit confused by that one line she wrote in the text.She text me the next evening saying she was really sorry for dragging me out and that she feels horrible for doing it. Was really nice seeing me and she then says "I miss you [with my name]".I'm just confused as to whats shes feeling, I miss her I do and at the moment so confused about what to do. Shall I ask to meet and talk to her about it?Should I call her and chat to her?Should I just go full out and ask her how she feels about me now?Or should I just leave it and see how things go?Thank you for reading sorry for the long story I thought it was needed to get a bit of background info :).
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female
reader, CharmmyKitty  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Actions like this are never really easy to read.
As far as the texting goes, I think I would have said the same thing to her. SHE was the one who said she wanted space after all. You can't really make the transition from dating to 'just friends' instantly. You both need a little time off from eachother in order to make that work.
As for her recent actions, it could be a couple things.
She could be having romantic feelings for you again, and is testing the water. Since she was the one that broke it off, she might feel a little unsure about how your feeling after all that time. So she takes you ought to see how things are.
She could just miss you and not want a relationship. (I've texted the same thing to an ex before. It was the truth, I really did miss him, but it wasnt that I was trying to get back together)
Or she could be trying to have her cake and eat it too. Even if she's not consciously aware of it.
I guess what you do now depends on how you feel.
If you can handle being 'just friends' and not have old feelings get in the way, then by all means just let this thing flow.
But if you're anything like me, then you might want answers! If I were you, I'd text/say something along the lines of: Look, it's great talking to you again, I just want to know what your inentions are. You know that I have feelings for you, so I kinda feel like you might be playing with my emotions by kissing me. If you want to just stay friends, that's fine too. I just want you to give me a straight answer so that I'm not left wondering.
Let us know what you decide to do, and how it goes down
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