A
male
age
30-35,
*eil61
writes: hi, I'm a 16 year old boy and I fell in love with a girl two years ago who unfortunately didn't feel the same way. ever since then I've gotten over her several times but the feelings are always there waiting to come back. over the two years the two of us have become amazing friends although it's always been obvious that she means much more to me than I do to her, despite her saying I'm her best guy friend. anyway a few weeks ago I told her that I liked her as more than a friend, and she told me that in the past it was our friendship that made her say no to anything more than friendship, but now something about it made her want to make it work. so we talked about it for a few days and I told her I wanted it to happen. after a couple of days though she said she didn't want to lose me as a friend. I was heartbroken and I became depressed, and this wasn't helped when two weeks later she asked me if i minded if she went out with a friend of mine. of course I did but I didn't want to stop her doing what she wanted so I said it was ok. now 5 weeks later I'm still depressed and I can't stop thinking about her. me and her seem to have stopped talking and I don't know what to do. I never thought the day would ever come when I would lose her as a friend, but now I just want to get her out my life and forget about her. I just keep thinking about all the good times though and I know I'd miss her so much if I lost her, but at the minute it makes me want to kill myself whenever I even think about her, let alone see her kissing her boyfriend. that was the most painful moment of my life. please help me because I'm so confused and I don't think I'm in a good way to make a big life decision right now when all I can think about is trying to see the good in life. should I try and keep her in my life, and make it through this depressing patch, or just try and forget about her and lose contact over the summer?
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male
reader, neil61 +, writes (16 June 2010):
neil61 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay guys I guess you're right. It's gonna be hard but I'm just gonna have to try and not see her. it's nearly the summer holidays and she's off to college next year so it shouldn't be too bad trying to avoid her. it's just weird cos she's usually the person I talk to about this stuff and she's been someone I could trust. the last few weeks have changed that though, especially the way she got my hopes up before going out with my mate. cheers guys.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (16 June 2010):
This is tough for you. Normally when someone breaks your heart you cut contact and the healing can begin. Since you want to keep her as a friend my advice is to cut back on the amount of time you spend with her and try to get out and meet some other people. By being in love with her you could be missing out on an opportunity with someone else equally as wonderful.
Good luck you will get there.
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