A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for six months, and I've been wanting an engagement ring. I want one carat diamond, but my husband is always making jokes about it like oh that's a car payment, or bump that that's a whole car! Then he made a sarcastic comment towards me. He says that he was trying to be funny, yet he can't give me a straight answer on the sarcastic remark when I asked him if he was joking or not, such as a yes I was joking, or a no I was not. Well he said he'd stop with the stupid jokes. I didn't ask him to, he chose to do that on his own. Well I was looking through pictures that he had and one was of the hope diamond and he said "No you can't have that it's in a museum, blah blha blah" This is the second or third time he has made that joke, as if I want the fucking world or something, and I said what happened to "I'll stop with the stupid jokes" If he really thinks that I want the world or something he needs to stfu and let me buy my own engagement ring, cos I will. Now I remember what the sarcastic remark was "That's a lot of money for something to look pretty." Then I reminded him that it symbolized our commitment to one another. This was my second time reminding him. It's funny. I think that I deserve the best. I know I won't get the best cos we are both not that rich, but I at least want to get some of the best, such as one carat. I don't get this shit, cos when he was looking at a ring with diamonds in it for himself, I thought about getting it for him, such as if I had to make payments on something. When he wants something nice, I'll get it for him, but I won't make stupid-ass comments like he wants the world or something. Anyone ever been in this situation? Or know of any good jewellery stores in North Carolina? He says the same shit over and over again, and it's really starting to piss me off. It's like his money is more important than mine. He'll even say such things as "Ooooh I want that, can you buy it for me?" And I'll respond back with "If you buy me my engagement ring." Now he's just gotten into the habit of saying "ooooh I want that" without asking me to buy it. But I'd get it for him if he wanted it, not make stupid ass comments and then claim oh if that's what you want I'll get it for you. Please "If that's what you want" yeah and then he'll probably resent me. What do you think? Should I just buy my own ring in payments since a certain someone keeps acting like I want the world?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd he was pointing to a ring and said, "This is what I'm thinking of getting you." It wasn't the exact ring but the shape of it. And he's all oh three diamonds is better than one. Not necessarily. If all together they weigh less than a carat, they are not better to me than one. And since when did the husband choose what ring she was getting? Don't I get to choose what ring I want?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd then he pulls the safety card, since I go to a black college. He is all, "Oh I worry about someone hurting you for your ring." There are PLENTY OF WOMEN at my college who have diamond rings. His lame excuse? "Oh they are probably fake." When I told him that one of the husbands was a pilot he was all then whats his wife doing at that school? As if she were lying or something cos she wasn't at a more expensive school. I told him that if I got him something expensive I'd know that he could hold his own. I don't make excuses like "Oh what if someone hits you over the head with a baseball bat for your ring? Idk I'm concerned about your safety!!!!" And I know what's going to fucking happen. He's going to do the same thing he did last time. He's going to start making payments on a ring, and then stop and then it won't be mine. What a fucking waste of money. I'm tired of his excuses, and shit always happening. I have so much hatred, anger, and disgust, I felt nauseated alittle earlier. Idk. Regardless of whether this situation becomes solved or not, thanks for your empathetic reading, and I will eventually find a ring that I want and have him start making payments on it.
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A
female
reader, MommyOfOne +, writes (22 January 2009):
 One carrot is not THAT expensive. Its a nice size, but is NOT over the top, like my dream ring! (3 carrot princess cut) I don't think you are asking for to much. And I don't think you should buy your own ring. I think he is being cheap and he's gotten use to you paying for things. But this isn't something you should be buying for yourself. He wanted to marry you. But doesn't want to put a ring on your finger?! Probably because he figures, "sh*t, she can get her own ring." Wrong!
If you want, and if you are looking for a less expensive ring that is still good quality, go to the mall jewelry stores. Or, retail chains have jewelry counters, and surprisingly enough what they have is pretty! Go and put a ring in layaway or get it and get the payments set up. And hand him the layaway receipt or the bill and say, "here hunny! You just got my ring! Thank you so much baby! I LOVE IT! Its absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!"
And let him make the payments. He wants to marry you, right? Then he needs to stop being so darn cheap, realize your not asking for much, be a man and put a ring on your finger.
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